“Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did for Sarah as He had promised.” (Genesis 21:2 NIV)
It seems that the Lord’s graciousness to Sarah made up for her husband’s shortcomings. In the previous chapter, Sarah had been treated as a commodity again. A second king had taken her captive and Abraham, yet again, allowed it. He recycled his same half-truth from Egypt – “She’s my sister.” – and sold Sarah downstream to protect his own head.
We read on a little further and find out that this sister nonsense had been Abraham’s escape clause since the beginning of their marriage. (Genesis 21:13) Turns out that Abraham and Sarah were half-siblings and in times of potential distress, Abraham conveniently stepped away from their marriage covenant for his own personal safety.
It’s hard to wrap our minds around the level of betrayal Sarah experienced. Her husband – far more of a protector-provider in ancient times than in modern – had developed a habit of abandoning her at the first flush of danger. Imagine the insecurity, fear and fury that Sarah felt each time this occurred!
But before we get too angry at Abraham or feel too sorry for Sarah, let’s recognize how God takes up for Sarah. With both Pharaoh and Abimilech, God steps in to Sarah’s story and stands as her Protector-Provider. The failure of Abraham only serves to further illuminate the faithfulness of God to Sarah and her family line.
I find this incredibly encouraging. Husbands are only human. Even the good ones – the ones who walk with God – are still subject to fear, falsehood and fragile egos. But as wives, we can be sure that God will take up for us. His graciousness will outshine our spouse’s shortcomings. And if we’re being brutally honest, our own as well. Sarah was no angel, either. She had a manipulative streak a mile wide.
The truth is, mere men cannot be perfect protector-providers in all things. Likewise, ordinary women will not always feel and think and act rightly. But God Almighty can and will step in amidst every marital deficit we experience. He is faithful. He is able. We can trust Him to carry us through the lowest, scariest, hardest parts of our marriage story. What is more, He has forgiveness for our spousal failures – male and female alike. He can lead us in forgiveness for one another as well.
“Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.” And she added, “Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet have born him a son in his old age.””
(Genesis 21:6-7 NIV)
I don’t know for sure, but I suspect Sarah and Abraham had a hard marriage. If you deep dive into the details of their life together, you may arrive at the same conclusion. They married as half-siblings – that’s a strange start for sure. Then they endured many moves across multiple countries and cultures. Abraham took a mistress, who may have been Sarah’s closest female companion. Sarah suffered two abandonment-trades into the arms of foreign kings. Sarah and Abraham lived the bulk of their life together in little more than a tent. Their surrogate situation went terribly awry. I’m not convinced that Abraham and Sarah were quite the happy, old couple we tend to picture.
Yet in her old age, God brought Sarah great joy. It seems to me that the God of the Impossible did the impossible. (Genesis 18:14) He got Sarah to laugh. He fulfilled the desires of her heart and made her heavy life seem light. And then He awarded Abraham and Sarah with an incredible legacy of descendants, despite their rough start.
Maybe you can relate to Sarah today? Perhaps you’ve spend decades in a hard marriage or your womb remains empty. Maybe you or your spouse have fudged on the marriage vows from the start. Maybe you’ve been traded for his comfort or sin or self-protection. Maybe you’ve been the chief manipulator in your marital story.
Perhaps it’s time to turn to God as your Protector-Provider, as your source of laughter and joy. He is able. He is ever-faithful. He will never fail and He alone is the endless source of the unwavering love you lack. He can fill you up and send you back into your marriage well-equipped with the fruit of the Spirit. If you’ll only allow Him.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come.” (Proverbs 31:25 NIV)
Lord, we acknowledge that marriage can be hard and spouses can come up short. Us included. Today we lean into Your faithfulness. We ask that You would step into our marriage and make up for all the pieces missing due to sin. Thank You for Your amazing and attentive care for our hearts. Help us to more fully trust in You. Amen.