"All of us must die eventually. Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God does not just sweep life away; instead, He devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from Him." (2 Samuel 14:14 NLT)
Turns out, Hanna Montana was right: “Everybody has bad days, everybody makes mistakes.” We all blow it from time to time and when we do, recovery feels impossible. The toothpaste cannot possibly return to the tube. Water spilled on the ground cannot be recollected.
David’s father heart was hurting over his children’s choices. Amnon had brutally raped his half-sister, Tamar. Absolom had murdered Amnon to avenge his sister’s honor. Absolom was banished for three years and when he was allowed to return his home, the king refused to receive his son.
"And David mourned many days." (2 Samuel 17:37 NLT)
David was a deep feeler – the psalms serve as evidence of his emotional intelligence. This great strength came at a high cost. The passion of David’s children surely caused him great pain.
We mourn sin. We hurt over our own trespasses and the trespasses of those against us. Such godly sorrow is in keeping with our heavenly Father’s character, but we can’t afford to get stuck in our grief. Life is too short to shut down relationship over offense. It is certainly not how Father regards us. Yes, our sin dismays, but He doesn’t get stuck in His disappointment. He continues to seek us out, He established a path to restore relationship right away.
My husband said it just the other night: “We can’t afford to waste time being mad at our kids.” Having buried both of my parents prematurely, I knew he was right. Life is too short and we are old enough to know just how fast it goes.
David lost more than three years with Absolom. And by the time he was ready to rebuild the relationship with his son, it was far too late. The damage was done. The rejection had already done desperate things to Absolom’s soul. The king would contend with his son the rest of his days.
"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4 NLT)
Perhaps the greatest discipline I have received from the Lord is forgiveness. I don’t like forgiveness except when I am in need of it myself. It hurts to extend forgiveness, it always feels unfair. Growing our forgiveness muscle is more painful than planking, but it is essential to the strength of our spiritual core. Those closest to us (spouses, children, parents and siblings) come with innumerable opportunities to grow in our forgiveness discipline. When we struggle to rise to the occasion, we need only remember how very much our Father has corvine us. Who are we to deny another?
"and forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors." (Matthew 6:12 NIV)
This forgiveness discipline is so central to our faith that Jesus included it in His daily prayer. Isn’t it interesting that the very next line deals with temptation? We feel justified in our offense and we want to hold tightly to it. But our Lord know just how damaging offense is to relationship, and so He daily implores us: let it go! Bless them and move on! We lose far too much when we surrender to our hard feelings, especially when it’s family.
Lord, today we look to David ad Absolom and see where prolong unforgiveness plants a seed. Left to itself, bitter roots dig in and relationships are destroyed. May we receive this warning and apply it to our hearts today. Root out our hard feelings; particularly with those closes to us. Give us Holy Spirit power for forgiveness. Help us offer the same level of mercy that you have often offered us. Guard our relationships from the destructive affects of unforgiveness. May we walk in continual mercy. Bess our relationships as we learn to love as You do. Amen.