“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NLT)
We traded in our vehicle on Monday.
My beloved Volvo was getting up in miles and more concerningly, repair costs. The heater had died during our trek north last January. We kept turning the dial to no avail, we only grew colder as we came home. The growing film on the inside of the windshield was the telltale sign of a failed heater core. Additionally, our mechanic noted seepage around the engine gaskets and assured us it would be an expensive issue in the future. And most recently, the A/C had been dropping in and out; turns out a black leather interior in South Texas is pretty killer with intermittent A/C. Of course, the A/C behaved fine when it was in the shop to address our concerns.
Honestly, it was hard to part with Diana. (That was my name for the Volvo – like Wonder Woman, of course.) She had been a consistent bright spot after a hard season of adulting. I had paid cash for her, so she gave us nearly four years and eighty thousand miles debt-free. But for the past six months, she had been worrisome. We had a few expensive repairs last the fall and had been warned of inevitables. What was going to break next? At what point would we outspend her worth? How would we get around while she was undergoing the needed repairs? There was already enough actually awry with her that I felt icky about selling her privately.
On Monday we woke up with the day off for our anniversary. Our other plans had fallen through and so we decided to start really looking, rather than the low-key internet searches we had engaged in before. Back in 2018 we had rented a Corolla and enjoyed it, so we had a pretty good idea of what we were hunting for. We’d been praying intermittently about it for the past six months or so. We felt like, if it was meant to be, the search would be easy. It was. We found one in Houston, got a good deal (which is shocking in this season) and within a few hours had traded in Diana to knock the price down even further. I’m not going to pretend I didn’t tear up a bit as I thanked her for her service and handed over the keys.
Today was the first opportunity I’ve had to put a few miles on the Corolla. Of course, we had each test-driven it on Monday, but Rob does most of the driving, so I hadn’t really since. I didn’t go far this morning – just to church and back – and at first, I really enjoyed it. Cars have come a long way in the last decade! But pretty quickly, my joy evaporated into anxiety. What’s that noise? Is it pulling into the left? What if we got a lemon? What if we struggle to make the (very reasonable) payment? What have we gotten ourselves into?
Do you see how fast that deteriorated?
Instead of receiving and reveling in the blessing of a new-to-us car, I was robbing myself of the joy of the moment. In a matter of minutes, I had mentally arrived in a very dark place. This is not surprising, I had read it in Levi Lusko’s devotional this morning:
“Thoughts are like trains, they take you somewhere.”
I was alerted to my destination and de-boarded by prayer. It was in this prayer that the Lord lovingly nudged me.
“You’ve traded in worry for worry, Anna.”
Ouch.
I recognized the bad deal that I had unwittingly agreed to. I hate that worry is still a regular battle for me. It’s not crippling anxiety; just pointless fretting – pacing the floorboards of my brain with the same unhelpful question playing on repeat. “What if?”
The more I pondered the lousy trade I had made with worry, the more I realized the trade I am pre-approved for. My Father in heaven has financed a far better exchange: He’s set it up so I can swap out worry (which is worthless) for peace (which is priceless). Wow. Why on earth wouldn’t I take Him up on that?!?!
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT)
Lord, please forgive us for trading in worry for worry. Help us instead to put every thought through the litmus test of prayer. May our ways please You. Thank You for provision and blessing. Please help us to rightly see everything You have put into our hands as gifts, not liabilities. Please fill our hearts and minds with peace that passes understanding and guard it as we live and breathe and move have our being in You. Amen.