"Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe." (1 Timothy 4:12 NASB1995)
Even well into my middle years, this verse holds significant meaning for me. It was emblazoned on the back of my favorite high school era t-shirt. I wish I still had it – said shirt disintegrated from wear long ago. But the verse became my personal motto. I loved the idea that youthfulness in faith is an asset, not a liability. Even as a teenager, I earnestly believed I could live as an example of a life on fire for Christ.
A sixteen-year-old Anna at youth camp a million years ago.
For whatever reason, I’ve been thinking about the years I spent in youth ministry. I started out as a church camp counselor during the Clinton administration. Fishing expeditions and campfires caught my heart: I loved working with students. It is exciting to impart the gospel to young minds. There’s a natural enthusiasm in students that is tough for adults to muster.
One of the truths I tried to communicate to our youth is the critical nature of faithfulness. God is entirely faithful. (Psalm 89:8) Faithfulness is His modus operandi. Humans, on the other hand, are far more fickle. We must gird ourselves for the long haul of a faithfulness over decades. Serving God is a marathon, not a sprint. We must be trained to run our race in all weather, not just when it’s 75 and sunny. I tried to prepare our students for the reality of a life of faith, I just now see how God was preparing me.
As the grains collect on the far end of the hourglass, disappointments accrue. Losses accumulate. Such sandbars left unattended can change the course of our story. We must guard the gospel in our hearts over our lifetime, not just a season.
Sadly, I’ve seen it in so many students: young men and women who graduated youth group and stalled out with God altogether. It’s subtle at first, a compromise here or there, a few stumbles that all too quickly it erode into a faithless existence. Eventually it’s as though they never met God in the first place.
Rob and I talked about it again last night; how it hurts see our former students abandon their faith. Often it includes radio silence with us, the relationship ends by their volition. We are unfriended or unfollowed like foster folks from a time they are trying to forget. It hurts me, but I can only imagine how it tears at the Father’s heart.
I look back at those years with students and the countless discussions we had about lifelong Christ following and I can plainly see how God was equipping me for the coming season. Yes, I was preaching truth to young believers, but He was also packing my heart with perseverance for the years ahead.
When my mom died in 2014, I struggled to stay the course. I acutely recall sitting in a youth pastor’s conference, listening to Jeanne Mayo share. She said “The further we go with God, the more the crowd thins.” She was right. People of faith fall away. Time and wounds and idolatries take them out. Exhaustion and disappointment woo them away. Grief buries them alive. That message was for me that day. I had been peering over the edge of giving into my grief, but Jeanne’s words pulled me back from the brink.
I’m reminded of Mother Mayo’s words again this morning. Her stamina is contagious – still serving students in her seventies. She continues to chase after Jesus even if she’s the very last runner in her race.
Honestly, friends, it’s been tempting to spit the bit lately. This season has been brutal and lonely. It feels pointless and punishing. But today I look back at sixteen-year-old Camp Anna and I remember, I agreed to the long haul. Alt the beginning of my story, I made a commitment to follow Christ all the way to the end. I purposed to be an example in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity – no matter my age. I’m too far long to change course now. I’m going to keep running after Christ. I’m going to keep the faith and finish the race. I’m hanging on for that price, even if it is only a participation ribbon. I will not quit.
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith." (2 Timothy 4:7 NASB1995)
Lord, first off, forgive us for entertaining temptation. We weary and wound so easily. Remind us today of Peter’s words: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of life.” Convince our hearts again. Strengthen our souls for the long haul of life devotion to You. Enable us to finish well, whether we have a few days or decades to go. We long to conclude our race in a way that honors You. Amen.