"The Lord says, "I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you." (Joel 2:25 NLT)
I think this is the last of my Leading Ladies Retreat reflections; I’ve just about unpacked all the takeaways. As I already mentioned, Rita DuBose spoke on winter and how seasons eventually change. She shared the entirety of Joel 2; about how God never forgets His people and obedience in all seasons eventually produces abundance. I’ve got to admit, I got a little stuck here with the locusts; so many kinds of locusts! Why would God willingly send them?
It is interesting, also, how God names the locusts. He individually identifies each kind of covering crisis: the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts and the cutting locusts. He doesn’t send swarms and avert His eyes. He sits with us in the devouring devastation, waiting out our willingness to turn Him amidst it. When all we see is destruction, He alone understands their potential to produce.
I can look back over my personal timeline and see the swarms of named locusts: my own wrestle with illness, Mom’s cancer and hospice, my brother’s shop fire and resulting disability, Dad’s car crash and ICU stint, the overwhelming estate and resulting lawsuit, two years of live-in veteran care and my brother’s untimely and unnecessary passing. Of course, there have been secret swarms as well; challenges within church and home that I cannot share openly. These private infestations have been even more painful than the public plagues, silent suffering while the world goes on unaware. My swarms began just after I finished my credentialing classes and they have swept in unceasingly since.
Last Saturday afternoon, I rode along with two missionaries and a retired pastor’s wife. Unhurried, we picked our way across Houston, stopping for lunch and gas and coffee, of course. Amidst the lively conversation, my foreign missionary friend mentioned how we had met in Mexico many years ago. She couldn’t forget the experience because l because I preached on manure and the translator had quite a time finding a Spanish counterpart for fertilizer. It was in that moment I realized it truly has been ten years since all this awful began. I had typed up that manure message on my phone in Mexico while my mom was two thousand miles away undergoing the lymphadenectomy that preceded her stage 4 diagnosis. It turns out, I still have the notes.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4 NIV)
Tonight I want to talk with you about manure. Stinky, smelly manure. Anywhere in the world, you’ll find manure. It is vile stuff, but it’s a natural part of life. It’s necessary. Waste has to happen.
But God, in His infinite wisdom, has repurposed manure. It is useful. It makes stuff grow. Manure creates a nutrient rich environment for plants to reach their full potential. Manure helps make things beautiful.
Suffering is the manure in a Christian’s life. It’s the difficult, stinky, vile things that pile on top of us and threaten to bury us.
But manure is not intended to bury us or even stunt our growth. The manure of suffering is intended to invite to reach towards even and push towards our full potential – a beautiful life in Christ.
God is faithful above all. He has plans and a hope and a future for you and He longs to give you the desires of you heart.
When I was 16 I radically gave my life to Christ. I was new in Him and I was devout. I was passionate. I was excited to serve my risen savior. And I prayed bold prayers. I would put my face on the altar and cry to God asking Him to make me a godly woman, a woman after His own heart. I prayed ‘whatever it takes God, I belong to You.’
God remembers our prayers, they are a fragrant offering to Him. He remembered my prayers as a teenager and His remembrance came in the form of manure… In the form of suffering.
See, God knows that adversity is the soil of choice for growth. He knows that suffering brings us closer to Him.
In the past year, God has allowed me to suffer deeply. First in my own body with frightening health issues, and now in my mother’s body, she is very sick. It has been harder to watch her get sick than being sick myself, because she is many miles from me.
But as I have suffered, I have grown more and more dependent on God. I have clung to His word and His presence for dear life. And He has shown himself faithful over and over again. In this process of wading through some of life’s deepest, smelliest manure, I have blossomed in my love for my Savior. I enjoy a deeper intimacy with Him than I ever thought possible. In His perfect love and mercy, I am gradually becoming the godly woman I prayed to be as a teenager.
He has answered my prayer through suffering.
Being covered in manure does not make you manure. When a seed is covered in manure it’s roots grow deeper, it’s stalks taller, it’s leaves greener and ultimately, it produces better fruit.
Suffering is the process that produces fruit in our lives that simply cannot grow any other way.
Suffering is not a new tool for growth. Job suffered. Sarah suffered. Joseph suffered. Even Jesus, dear Jesus suffered so. And through His suffering, the word tells us He learned obedience. Jesus grew. And so will I. So will you.
Jesus allowed His suffering to push Him towards His purpose. We are wise when we allow suffering in our own lives to do the same work. When you suffer ladies, when, not if, when you suffer, persevere. Allow that manure to push you towards Jesus so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
After the ladies had dropped me off at home, I opened my phone and reread the Mexico message, still there in the Notes app. I recalled picking up my flute at the close of service that night and playing “I Surrender All”. Much to my surprise, several hundred voices spontaneously accompanied; singing the familiar stanzas in a foreign cadence. It was a holy moment, for certain.
Looking back, I am astounded by the prophetic nature of that missions service. In His mercy, God gave me glimpse of the decade He was leading me into: He even offered a why. Now, ten years later, I am awestruck again by His sustaining love despite the unrelenting rain of manure. All my misery has produced perseverance and the result will, one day, be maturity.
"'Sir,' the man replied, 'leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it. If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.'" (Luke 13:8 NLT)
Even our dear Jesus acknowledges it; fertilizer helps things grow. It’s unpleasant to admit, but sometimes surrender stinks.
Whether we label it locusts or manure, it’s a challenge to endure to the end. It’s tough to pick our way through the swarm and the squall alike. It’s still so hard to hold our ground and grow through; maintaining the trust that flourishing will follow. But God knows and He sustains as we learn to lean into Him in every condition. My counselor used to say it and I find myself returning to it often: trust the process. The Author of our story is experienced and masterful. He loves transforming barrenness into beauty. Wilderness into wonder. Mayhem into a masterpiece. He is with us and for us and in the end, He gets the glory.
Lord, we have seen manure and locusts alike. Sometimes our hearts feel like a land gleaned of green, buried beneath tons of turd. But today we see the stripped soil as prepared; ready for a riot of growth and the harvest that follows. Steady our hearts as we wait on the changing seasons. Give us grace as we sit in the stink and trust the process. We know You are the Master Gardener, determined to grow something good. Amen.
- All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.- Refrain:
I surrender all,
I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
- Refrain:
- All to Jesus I surrender,
Humbly at His feet I bow;
Worldly pleasures all forsaken,
Take me, Jesus, take me now. - All to Jesus I surrender,
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine. - All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power,
Let Thy blessing fall on me. - All to Jesus I surrender,
Now I feel the sacred flame;
Oh, the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!