“Then He went down to Nazareth whit them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all the things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.”
(Luke 2:51-52 NIV)
At Christmastime this last year, I led a ladies devotional about maintaining a heart of gratitude. We carefully unpacked Mary’s birth experience, attempting to slip our feet into her strained sandals. We agreed, the angelic visitation, immaculate conception and engagement complication were all pretty overwhelming But then things got really wild when we considered her eighty mile expedition in the last stages of pregnancy, the squalid conditions of the cave or stable, and the lack of midwife or mother as Mary began to push. In fact, Mary gave birth very much like Eve did; at the mercy of her husband’s ignorance.
Mary and baby Jesus survive the trauma of live birth only to be visited by smelly shepherds and mysterious magi. All of this is followed up by a narrowly escaped genocide and a midnight trip to Egypt. The first family would reside in the neighboring country for a few years to wait out the death of their paranoid Herod.
As a small group, we were amazed to discover young Mary’s heart of gratitude amidst the messy, misfortunate and frightening circumstances.
“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:10 NIV)
Despite the discomfort of the journey, the shame of an illegitimate pregnancy and the horrors of an unattended labor and delivery — Mary remained grateful.
Today I can see how her gratitude set the stage for the rest of her story. Look at her response to her lost and found preteen. Jesus was already speaking things she didn’t understand. He was living with a different set of priorities then a typical twelve year old. He was clearly maturing into more than she had imagined, and how does she acknowledge all this? She treasured it in her heart.
I am convinced that Mary’s right heart toward her Son set her up to experience some miraculous and terrible and totally restorative things throughout her years with Jesus. Gratitude is the difference maker.
There’s a personal application for us parents: even the empty nest type watching their children from afar. Gratitude is always the right attitude when it comes to our kids — even as they grow in wisdom and stature, as they take first brave steps toward adulthood, as the physical space between child and parent grows wider by the day. An attitude of gratitude will continue to serve us all the way until the end.
I’ve been reading another novel for this month’s book club; this one is about the orphan trains that ran across our country from 1854-1929. Over two hundred thousand children were relocated in those years. In this account, the heroine’s life is mangled by loss: loss of her home country and kin in Ireland, loss of her apartment, parents and siblings due to a tenement fire in a New York City, loss of her childhood and innocence due to greedy and dysfunctional foster families.
At one point in the book she finally finds herself alone in a tidy bedroom complete with her own bed and clean sheets. She marvels over the running tap and the steady heat blowing from the vent. She can’t get over the regular and calorie rich meals. I was humbled. When was the last time I gave God thanks for the simple things like a steaming cup of coffee and clean sheets?
For whatever reason, this week has been tough. Transitioning our daughter from school to camp was a lot of chaos that left my heart gaping in it’s wake. Too many people have marched in and out of my life, I struggle sometimes with the ache of relationships lost or paused. I feel haunted by their memories, and sullen with sorrow. As a result, I unintentionally turn inward, reminiscing about people and times that have passed and situations that cannot be altered.
Today, Mary’s story reminds me that gratitude is a critical element in the parenting but also in our own personal growth. We will never outgrow our need to be grateful. Everything we have is because of God’s kindness toward us. Especially these fabulous young people He entrusted to us for a season. They grow up and leave and we can moon over empty rooms and quiet evenings or we can be glad that we go the chance to participate in the miracle of mothers. We can treasure our experiences with our children as long as we have opportunity and then we can continue to give glory to God in their absence.
“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.” (Psalm 127:3 NLT)
Lord, please forgive us for our tendency toward ingratitude. Help us to see our lives and our families as the gifts intended. Stir up thanksgiving in our hearts. Combat loss with grateful acknowledgement for Your mysterious ways. May we find ourselves not empty, but full. Amen.