He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them.” (Mark 6:48 NIV)
I haven’t had the courage to camp out on this passage in a long while. See, three years ago my dad was trying to die. He had been in a bad automobile accident and sustained eleven broken ribs and a terrible head contusion. He’d been on a vent for days and he was ready to go Home. His physical body begged to let go. The problem was, I wasn’t ready to give up.
I was with those disciples in the boat, straining all my earthly muscles to get us across the sea of loss without succumbing to it’s intention. I figured, if I just rowed hard enough, long enough, I could get us through the night. We’d find dry ground again.
But that morning, Jesus came walking across my waters and climbed into my boat, with solemn eyes, asking me to lay down my oars. It was time to let my dad drift out to the sea he longed for. Setting down those oars was one of the hardest things I’ve eve done; letting go and letting God steer us through the sea of loss a second time in less than two years.
We removed the vent the next afternoon and my dad drifted off within moments, a weary sailor glad to be returned to the waters.
“Then He climbed into the boat with them. And the wind died down. They were completely amazed.” (Mark 6:51 NIV)
Looking back, I can see how Jesus has occupied my boat every since. He has never left me alone on the waters of grief though I still miss my parents every day; this week, the loss has felt fierce. But I know Jesus is here with me. He is there with them. And one day, we’ll all stand on the distant shore together.
So much of my life since that morning has been laying down oars again and again: setting aside what I desire to go and do whatever Jesus wants next.
Perhaps that’s when we truly become a disciple? In the midst of this experience, scripture tells us the disciples did not understand about the loaves because their hearts were hardened. (Mark 6:52) But in laying down their oars, they learned something essential; their hearts were softened and their grip was loosened. This only happens when we finally, fully allow Jesus to climb into our boat and determine our course. We submit to His leadership in our story. We surrender our right to an opinion or objection. We recognize His sovereignty and give way to His agenda.
The truth is, it’s not our boat. It’s His boat. He built it. He sustains it. He directs it. We lay down our oars because it all belongs to Him anyway.
Lord, it is so hard to lay down our oars of control and belief about what should be. Sometimes it’s tough to surrender to Your leadership in our story, sometimes we just don’t understand. May we remember who we are with, the One who calms the waves, the One who sees us through to the other side. Please give us the courage to obey Your instructions, no matter how costly they are. We want to honor Your Lordship over our lives. Amen.