"A certain man of Zorah, named Manoah, from the clan of the Danite's, had a wife who was childless, unable to give birth. The angel of the Lord appeared to her and said, "You are barren and childless, but you are going to become pregnant and give birth to a son." (Judges 13:2-3 NIV)
Judges 13 includes a story about a couple who didn’t keep spiritual secrets. Reading the full chapter, we see that they were open with one another about the God goings-on in their lives. They sought to share their spiritual experiences. They discussed what they didn’t understand.
Marriage and faith are living organisms. They each die unattended. Scripture reads like this couple received their son with great faith and joy, but struggled to stay connected the Lord over time. When their boy (Samson) was full-grown, Mr. and Mrs. Manoah made a good initial show of honoring God, but pretty quickly the entire story goes off the rails.
Some of the spiritual decay was cultural: the Israelites as a whole were crumbling in their faith. They had failed to follow through in evicting the Canaanites and they had failed to follow God’s law. These collective failures resulted in syncretism and dilution of truth. Mr. and Mrs. Manoah seemed to have very little practical understanding of how to honor God in their latter years. (When culture moves away from God, we’ll have exert even more effort to keep moving closer.)
It also appears that Samson had Mr. and Mrs. Manoah wrapped around his little finger. This is a danger for us as parents. We can start out on the journey of childrearing with the best spiritual intentions: determined to build our family God’s way, only to be dragged off course by our adoration for our sons and daughters. If we aren’t careful, these little babies can grow into flesh and blood idols. They can erode our affection and devotion for the living God. The blessing God gives us out of His kindness can become the very relationship that tugs us away from obedience and worship.
How do we guard against this? Well,, Mr. and Mrs. Manoah had the right idea at the start. Read the text. See how they shared freely about their God encounters. Note how they worked at their understanding of what they had experienced. This couple began the adventure of parenthood determined to do it within God’s parameters.
Friends, we start out this way. Let’s end this way, too. Work throughout your marriage and lifetime to live God’s way. There will be seasons where it is tempting to backslide or compromise. There will be opportunities to bow before lesser things. But husbands and wives, pull your spouse back toward the will of God. Speak openly about your own spiritual encounters. Be willing to share them with your one flesh companion. Grab your spouse by the hand and lead them to church, to the Word, and to the altar. Hold each other accountable. Practice vulnerability by sharing your feelings, failures and fears. Pray together daily. I actually read a study recently that said only 1% of couples who pray together daily will divorce. 1 percent!!! I like those odds, don’t you?
Friend, we may have as many as five or six decades with our spouse. A lot can happen in that amount of time. We will inevitably move: growing toward God or drifting away from Him. Start family habits today that will move you in the right direction.
Samson’s parents ultimately experienced and extraordinary amount of pain over their son’s choices. I wonder how they coped? Did they turn toward each other? Toward God? Did they grieve together and cry out in prayer? Did they regret their spiritual compromise in the years between Samson’s birth and premature death? We don’t know about Mr. and Mrs. Manoah, but we do get to decide about our own marriage and family. Remember, Joshua gave us all the choice at the very end of the previous book:
"Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve..." (Joshua 24:15 NIV)
Lord, help us. For whatever reason, we struggle to serve You over the long haul. We recognize this and repent. Please forgive us and reignite our hearts with love and fidelity. Give us the courage to share our spiritual experiences with our spouse and invite them in. May we lead each other toward You. Help us grow in our faith rather than fall away. May we walk the whole way Home with You. Amen.