“They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to His disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” He took Peter, James and John along with Him, and He began to be deeply distressed and troubled. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” He said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.”
(Mark 14:32-34 NIV)
Jesus was experiencing what could only be described as deep anxiety over His impending death. He was grieving the reality that was about to descend upon Him. Because He is all-knowing, Jesus was not borrowing from a potential future, but bravely preparing for a certain crucifixion. Today’s passage of scripture and Jesus’ plead of “stay with me” reminds me of the Jewish tradition of sitting shiva.
Shiva is a seven day period of formalized mourning observed by the immediate family members of the deceased. For a full week after a death, the mourners sit in their home and grieve the loss of their loved one. They typically sit on low chairs or furniture, letting the world know that they are feeling low. The shiva tradition has roots in ancient Jewish culture: Job’s friends sat with him for seven days before they said a word and Joseph mourned his father for seven days. During this week, extended family and friends trickle in and out of the home at will, bringing food and condolences. This intention slowing allows for grief to flow, memories to be shared, and healing to begin. At the end of the week, the family would emerge from the house together and take slow a walk around the block, symbolically stepping back out into the world again.
It seems to me that Jesus was grieving His own death and all the terrible details surrounding it. Only He didn’t have seven days to sit in shiva, He maybe had seven hours? All His sorrow was compressed into a singular evening, because before morning came, He was arrested and already stoic: wholly focused on the task to come. But the night before, in His palpable grief, He asked His closest friends to come and keep watch. Peter, James and John were invited into His inner circle of sorrow, bid to sit with Him in His pain as Job’s friends had. But Jesus’ friends fell asleep not the job. They were unable to wear His grief as their own. Exhaustion numbed their empathy and they gave way to it’s influence. And so, Jesus wept and bled sweat and agonized the night away alone.
What is remarkable to me is how the risen, resurrected Savior sits with us in sorrow. He weeps when we weep. I know this because grief has been a regular visitor to our home this past decade. I have cried countless hours in the night, unable to sleep as my soul adjusts to another loss. Yet, my Savior attends to every tear. What His disciple could not do, Jesus does faithfully. Tirelessly. Endlessly. When the bottom falls out in our story, when the phone rings, or the police knock at the door, and life divides into before and after; our Savior is already there, handkerchief in hand, ready and willing to sit with us and stay awake amidst our sorrow. What a friend we have in Jesus!
“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through sleepless nights, Each tear entered into Your ledger, each ache written into Your book.” (Psalm 56:8 MSG)
If you are hurting today, know that Jesus is beside you, hurting along with you. Your pain is not unseen. Your tears are not unattended to. The Lord of all is with You, weeping over the things that wound your soul and sitting with you in your sorrow. He is faithful and He will never leave or forsake you.
Lord, thank You for doing what the disciples could not. You do not abandon us in agony, but scooch nearer to hold us closer. You are so faithful to sit with us in our sorrow and tend to our wounds until we are healed. Thank You for loving us far better than we love You. Please teach us how to care for others as You care for us. Amen.