“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone would be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to come angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” (James 1:19-20 NIV)
Last night we hosted Chi Alpha missionaries in our new youth space. Sir James and Moriah Offord are a young black couple serving the A&M Praire View campus – a predominantly black college started in 1876. I had met the Offords back in January and we had discussed hosting a forum in the fall where they could share their experience and concerns about race in America. The hope was that we could all gain some bridge-building skills.
Then the heinous events with George Floyd unfolded in Minneapolis a few weeks ago, followed by protests and riots across our country. Right away, I reached out to the Offords to ask if they could come sooner.
Last night was incredibly informative and a big step in the right direction for our students and sponsors. Sir James and Moriah shared freely about their individual experiences and the generational trauma of growing up black in this country. They differentiated between the Black Lives Matter movement and the “black lives matter” statement. They invited our awkward questions and they encouraged us to listen.
“Listening is where love begins: listening to ourselves and then our neighbors.” (Mister Rogers)
Sir James and Moriah shared how painful it is when people stop listening, and how destructive it can be when we value our perspective far and above anyone else. Listening is the first step to building bridges between races and the last thing our enemy wants us to do. He sows discord and division on purpose. He thwarts the gospel efforts by building blockades between people groups. He hurries us toward misunderstanding, false assumptions and hate. Listening, on the other hand, slows us down and helps us pay attention to other people’s pain. Listening is essential for growing understanding and cultivating empathy. Empathy reaches across long-standing barriers and strives to build a new world together, not separate.
My heart was so stirred by last night’s service. Afterwards we went to Applebee’s, where we trade stories and laughed and found commonalities for several hours – honestly it was the most normal thing I’ve done in months. We said goodbyes and parted ways and I thanked God for new friends who look different than me. My life is made richer by their contribution and I wonder who else might spill their story if I made effort to be available to listen?
The point is, Sir James and Moriah reinforced the truth that the Holy Spirit spoke to me a few weeks ago – the first step toward healing our nation is not ignoring our past or believing it’s overblown – it’s listening. It’s putting ourselves in a position of humility, embracing the discomfort of ‘I don’t know‘ and having the courage to start a conversation. We have two ears and one mouth on purpose; we can listen twice as often as we speak. We can assume we don’t understand and be willing to pursue a firsthand perspective.
“Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.” (Proverbs 18:13 NLT)
“Intelligent people are always read to learn. Their ears are open for knowledge.” (Proverbs 18:15 NLT)
Lord, please help us become better listeners – not just in the arena of racial tension, but in all areas of our lives. We realize shouting accomplishes nothing, but listening builds bridges. Slow us down long enough to pay attention to the souls around us. May we value others as You do. Amen.
If you have seventeen minutes to invest in a better understanding of others, please check out this amazing video from a trusted children’s teacher.
If you have a bit more time, check out last night’s service.