A year or so ago I suffered a great offense. This was the kind of offense that could compel a heart batten down the hatches and never trust again. Quite honestly, since that offense it has been hard to coax my heart back out into open waters. It isn’t a matter of unforgiveness, it’s a matter of fear. But yesterday, in the middle of the work day, someone came in our office and asked to pray over us with a word they’d received.
“Put out your sails” this person said. They expounded, something about the work of getting this youth ministry off the ground and learning a new life. How if we’ll be faithful in the work, the Lord will come in with His wind and we’ll gain momentum quickly. I received the prayer and the encouragement, but I knew there was more to the Holy Spirit’s story.
I don’t want to become a bitter, closed off person. At the same time, classical conditioning is a powerful tutor and I have learned that an open heart is a vulnerable heart. I have felt my heart’s inward turn, perhaps even shrinking out of self-preservation. I don’t like this new, fortified version of Anna, but it felt imperative for survival.
Months ago, the Lord began softening my heart with a song. I stumbled upon it on YouTube; a video with music, but also with Pat Barrett pouring out his heart. He shared about how he was recovering from being a soul in hiding; how it was hard to let out our sails and let love in. When I heard the word “put out your sail” this video immediate came back to my mind. I hope you’ll take a few minutes to watch it.
But in case you don’t; let me share the lyrics:
“Falling is easy, but staying love is hard
Hard to be honest and keep your heart open
and be who we truly are.
Without the excuses, without the facade
There’s no pretending
Here in Your love.
Oh Lord, set me free.
I’m finally seeing You were here all along
Your love wasn’t absent, no
it doesn’t come or go
The image I’ve had
is starting to fail.
You’re patient with me
You’re lifting the veil.
O Lord, set me free,
I let out the sails of my heart,
Here I am, here You are.”
(Sails, Pat Barrett)
This morning I found it in the pages of scripture. I recognized the unbattening of Lydia’s heart.
“One woman, Lydia, was from Thyatira and a dealer in expensive textiles, known to be a God-fearing woman. As she listened with intensity to what was being said, the Master gave her a trusting heart and she believed.”
(Acts 16:14 MSG)
Lydia was a well-to-do woman. I picture her as self-sufficient. She had a fear of the Lord but she was not yet familiar with the Way of Christ. Then Paul came to Philippi preaching new truth: her guard must have been up because though she listened closely, the Lord had to open up her heart to belief in the Gospel.
I can imagine Lydia and her exquisite heart of finest purple linen. I can see her cooperating with the Spirit of God untacking the tie-downs and unfurling the sails to catch the wind of the truth as it blew through her community.
What was her response to Paul’s words? An immediate public proclamation of faith followed by an open house. Lydia lets out the sails of her heart and opens her home to strangers.
“After she was baptized, along with everyone in her household, she said in a surge of hospitality, “If you’re confident that I’m in this with you and believe in the Master truly, come home with me and be my guests.” We hesitated, but she wouldn’t take not for an answer.” (Acts 16:15 MSG)
Lydia puts out the sails of her hearts and then she tests the waters with her new church family.
This is for me today. Loving new neighbors always feels risky initially, but it’s the first step in becoming old friends. I need to let out the sails of my heart and let a few folks in. But maybe you do too? Maybe you’ve been in your church or your community years, but you’ve never had the courage to let out the sails and test the waters of true fellowship? Maybe you are like Lydia, with a fear of God that has not yet flourished into full relationship? Today’s your day. Let’s unpack our sails together and set off into the unknown sea of real connection with our Savior and each other.
Lord, help us let out the sails of our heart. Give us courage as we open ourselves up to relationship. Make us vulnerable and brave as we listen and share and break bread together. We see You living this example with Your disciples. We understand that intimacy can cost deeply. But we believe that soul camaraderie is worth any potential pain. The world is a lonely place when we row alone. Amen.