When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of God had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until they gave birth to a son. And he gave Him the name Jesus.”
(Matthew 1:24-15 NIV)
Joseph woke up from his dream with specific instructions: marry his intended and name the baby Jesus. It seems all Joseph’s previous inclinations about divorce were abandoned by sunrise. Joseph was suddenly a man with a plan.
He carried out God’s instructions to a tee. With one additional detail: he did not sleep with his bride. Was this divine directive or was it strong personal conviction? Was Joseph fearful of miscarrying the will of God? Perhaps he wanted no room for wondering who’s child was nestled in Mary’s womb? Ancient times didn’t have DNA tests. The female reproductive system was still a major mystery. Maybe Joseph abstained at first out of respect or concern of rumor? Perhaps each day he decided to exercise self-control a little longer: in awe of the miracle unfurling in his wife’s frame? Maybe he wanted nothing between them on their first night as man and wife? We can’t know why, but Joseph somehow connected celibacy with Mary’s condition and carried it through to completion.
Whatever the reason, Joseph is to be credited with self-control. He had a legal right as husband, but he laid it aside temporarily to benefit the Kingdom. He was able to tell himself no for a season, so he could enable a better yes to God.
“Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.” (1 Corinthians 7:5 NIV)
Joseph’s self-sacrifice in the first year of marriage surely enhanced his character. If he could practice self-control in such a key area of his life, he was far more prepared to step-father Jesus than we give him credit for. As we follow Jospeh through the Christmas story, we find him to a be reasonable and faithful man, carefully thinking things through but readily abandoning his plans in response to new divine instruction.
What we know for sure is that Joseph’s part in the nativity narrative is marked again and again by obedience. Obedience in public, but also obedience in private, behind closed doors and in the inner rooms of their home. No wonder God trusted a seemingly ordinary carpenter to protect and nurture His only Son. Can God find this sort of obedience in our lives? What areas of self control can we grow in? What can we abstain from in the name of the King? How might our voluntary surrender more adequately prepare us to respond affirmatively when God alters our course?
“Blessed are all who fear God, who walk in obedience to Him.”
(Psalm 128:1 NIV)
Lord, please help us hear and obey You. We give You room to ask anything of us: no part of our lives is off limits to Your input and instruction. We want to honor You with our yes. May our lives be marked by over and over again obedience. Have Your way in our story. Amen.