"When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister." (Genesis 30:1 NIV)
From the inception of their respective marriages, Rachel and Leah battled one another. Quite likely, their challenges predated the arrival of the handsome cousin, sibling rivalry is a common problem and certainly Laban took advantage of it. Years into their respective marriages, competition for their husband’s affection had starved out any sort of sisterly intimacy. Favoritism affects far more than the immediately competing parties. In Jacob’s family, it malnourished every member.
It hit me square between the eyes: Jacob’s family had a functional lack of love. They kept adding wives and children, but the love required for a family to grow was always in limited supply.
I must confess, I have a sick fascination with polygamist television shows. The familial dysfunction in a home with sister wives is a train wreck I can’t hardly look away from. The husband in these homes reigns as a king. His presence sought after, his attentions plied for. He is not in the thick of daily life with his wife and kid. Kings dole out favors to groveling subjects where fathers lavish love undeserved.
Jacob lived as a king among his wives and kids and the entire household suffered from a lack of unconditional love. Each wife and child learned to live in scarcity; seeing affection as a weapon to be wielded rather than an unlimited resource. Love was a carefully guarded commodity and every person in their tents was shorted.
Love is meant to be lavished without shortage. Especially within the family of God. There should be no lack of affection in our households. God is love. (1 John 4:7) If we feel a lack of love, we can always go to Him for more and freely receive all that we might ever need.
Kids who grow up in a love-starved home live differently than kids who grow up in a love-saturated home. Their self-esteem, identity and generosity towards others are all stunted apart from a steady diet of affection. What they believe about themselves and about the world around them are heavily influenced by the measure of love they find within the four walls of their home.
I’m convicted again today. With near-adult children, our limited opportunities are more critical than ever. When my kids come around, I need to to give them my full attention and affection. They need not doubt who is in their corner and how crazy I am about them. Love is the currency of the believer and we are rich beyond measure, there’s no reason to withhold what we’ve been inundated with.
"Freely you have received; freely give." (Matthew 10:28 NIV)
Lord, let us never be stingy in love. It is not a limited natural resource, but an unlimited supernatural resource. Please help us identify the places where we are running thin and fill us afresh with Your love. Teach us to lavish love on others rather than passing it out with bias. Amen.