"So Leah became pregnant and she gave birth to a son, Rueben, for she said, "The Lord has noticed my misery, and now my husband will love me." (Genesis 29:32 NLT)
Leah had her heart so set on her husband’s affections that she nearly missed the affection of God. She didn’t realize the strength of His resolute love until after the birth of her fourth son.
"She soon became pregnant again and gave birth to another son. She named him Simeon, for she said, "the Lord heard that I was unloved and has even me another son." Then she became pregnant a third time and gave birth to another son. He was named Levi, for she said, "Surely this time my husband will feel affection for me, since I have given him three sons!" Once again, Leah became pregnant and gave birth to another son. She named him Judah, for she said, "Now I will praise the Lord!" And she stopped having children." (Genesis 29:33-35 NLT)
Leah desperately sought the affections of her husband, Jacob. (Recall the fiasco of her wedding night and know that Jacob never chose Leah, she was forced upon him.) Jacob’s heart belonged to another (Rachel) and Leah was stuck living in the shadows of her sister’s love story. Leah suffered through four childbirths – all the while hoping to earn her husband’s affections – before she finally realized the love God had for her. When she recognized His affection for her, she finally had enough. When she lost sight of it, she struggled.
This is an important insight for a recovering people-pleaser. Rejection can leave us feeling unloved. Like Leah, we may pine for the approval of people when their hearts are simply set on another. But be encouraged, God’s heart is set on us. And He is always enough.
The KJV speaks of Rachel’s great beauty and Leah’s dull eyes. There have been many debates about what exactly that meant; some scholars suggest Leah was homely and nearsighted. (RUDE!) Today I wonder if ‘dull eyes’ indicated the lack of adoration in her life.
After all, Laban was her father. He was a scoundrel; trading his girls out of the wedding tent like pieces of furniture rather than flesh and blood brides. He openly pitted his children against each other and clearly favored the younger. Perhaps Leah’s eyes were dull because her heart had been critically wounded at a very young age?
Nothing lights up a girl’s eyes like love. We watched our wedding video a while back and that younger version of myself was a dancing flame, so sure of infinite value in the eyes of her groom. I wonder if Leah’s eyes finally sparked after Judah’s birth, when she realized she was actually loved.
There’s a confidence that comes with knowing one is seen, desired and appreciated. Leah discovered it divinely, even if just for a season. What about us? What if we let the love of God set a sparkle in our eyes? What if we trusted in His affection and approval above and beyond the rejection of others?
"The Lord will work out His plans for my life - for Your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever." (Psalm 138:8 NLT)
Lord, we don’t know why some are loved and others are not. But we do know You love Your people. To be loved by God is enough. Help us settle into Your love today and trust You for tomorrow. Restore the spark in our eyes as we praise You. Teach us to live for Your approval alone. Amen.