"Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other." (Romans 12:10 NLT)
YouVersion’s verse of the day is a perfect fit for Valentine’s, isn’t it? Rob and I have spent the weekend with some new friends and he teased me a little bit about being able to make conversation with most anyone. “It’s easy for you, Anna. You think everyone is interesting.” It may appear that way, but I promise it’s a skill I’m still crafting. It is my deep desire to rightly value the souls around you.
Truthfully, I’m still self-absorbed and conceited. But the more closely I walk with God, the less comfortable I am in my sinful condition. He endlessly speaks to me about His love for others and, astoundingly, His insistence further convicts of His love for me. He loves us in and around our personal preoccupation. He works with us to clear the debris disguising our imago dei. He sends His Son to provide for our souls and He stays after us until we finally turn around and embrace Hm.
God sets the gold-standard in love and when we start to correctly comprehend Him, we tap into a fount of grace and compassion far beyond our human means. We realize that the souls around us are every bit as valuable as God believes we are. He has fashioned them, also, into His image. Therefore they are fascination and worth every effort of observational-conversation mining. When we connect to this truth, we begin to experience what Peter Scazzero refers to as the sacred space between two souls and we are astounded at what God can accomplish through a shared conversation, prayer or experience. We grow to value these tender, living vessels in the community around us and we experience the gift of humanity in a whole new way.
Being Valentine’s Day, I thought it might be beneficial to share some best practices on loving others.
Ask God for help.
"And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for." (1 John 5:14-15 NLT)
Asking God for help sounds basic, but it’s foundational. For far too long, we have attempted to love others in our own strength and we’re all familiar with how well that’s working out. God is love and He created the very people we are learning to love. Who better to instruct us in our divine assignment?
Pray and ask God to give you a full measure of His affection for the folks in your sphere of influence. Then don’t be surprised surprise when He nudges you at work, at home or the at the supermarket. Be obedient to the nudge because you asked for His involvement.
Develop a holy curiosity.
"Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:26-27 NLT)
These scriptures can be condensed into the imago dei (image of God) and this reality is critical in our right interactions with others. When we take the time to recognize humanity’s original intent, we realize that every human being still carries the fingerprint of God in their frame. Their personality, intellect, imaginations, compassion and creativity are all indicators of our Creator.
It is our joy to rediscover and delight in these God-given characteristics! And, spoiler: every single human has them! Some folks will require a little more grace in discovery than others, but I haven’t met a dud yet. 🙂
One of the ways we expose the imago dei is through conversation. Most people love to talk about their favorite subject: themselves. And most of us struggle to listen. You can show someone that they are loved simply by listening closely. Ask leading questions, engage in appropriate eye contact and offer reflection. Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought, “Wow! That was great!” Chances are good that the other person did at least 50% of the listening. Active listening validates the speaker and it’s a critical step in loving.
Remember, you are uncovering, so let curiously lead the conversation. Don’t be afraid to admit ignorance. Humility actually connects our hearts where pride puts up walls.
Additionally, despite our current culture’s assistance, it’s okay to disagree. We don’t need to align with everything an individual is saying in order to love them. Listening isn’t an endorsement, but an endearment. And loving others is our goal, not moral superiority.
Consider yourself less.
"Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." (Philippians 2:3-4 NLT)
This might be the toughest instruction yet. We have been hardwired since the fall of man: me-first. But when we surrender our lives in faith, we begin to live God-first instead. And God’s priority is people. He’s hoping to empty hell and fill up heaven. In His grace, He’s allowed us to participate in the process. Selfish people make lousy witnesses.
I find spiritual disciplines to be the best way to beat back my flesh. Simple but hard practices like regular bible study, fasting, praying in the Spirit and sitting before the Lord in silence are all helpful practices in quieting the roar of “ME”.
I recently learned that counselors are trained to side with their client. Their conversations are an ongoing attempt to see their client’s world as they experience it. This is why most of us appreciate our counselors; behind the closed doors of their office, it feels as though someone really gets it. Someone is rooting for our success.
Truthfully: God is on everyone’s side. He made each of us in His image. He loves us as His very own children. (As a momma, trust me, it’s ALOT!) His greatest desire for each of us is that we would become sons and daughters of God again. When we learn to love others well, we are adopting His worldview and we begin rooting for the lost folks around us.
Happy Valentine’s Day, my friends! I pray we all learn to love well!
"And as we live in God our love grows more perfect." (1 John 4:17 NLT)
Lord, please forgive us for our selfish nature. We long to live in genuine affection and honor for others. Please help us grow in our love for the souls in our midst. Give us a holy curiosity as we uncover the imago dei. Shrink our flesh as we engage in spiritual disciplines and learn to value others like You do. Amen.