“Remember… if you really loved me, you would be happy that I am going to the Father, who is greater than I am.” (John 14:27 NLT)
The weeks before Mother’s Day are still hard for me. The world ramps up it’s efforts to honor Mom and I am reminded of the gap mine has left behind. It’s been almost eight years since Mom made her transition to heaven and I still stop myself short; “I gotta tell Mom…” or “I should ask Mom…” I’ve been on this journey of loss long enough to know that these impulses aren’t uncommon and are likely to accompany me the rest of my days.
This year, I’ve noticed opt-out options on Etsy and Amazon. Emails fill my inbox with messages like “If Mother’s Day is hard for you, you can unsubscribe until after May 8.” — as if unsubscribing could somehow subside the ache of marching through yet another May without my momma.
Yet again today, I find encouragement and correction in the pages of scripture. In the fourteenth chapter of John, our dear Jesus was trying to prepare His disciples for His own journey Home, but they struggled with the subtlety. (We hear what we want to hear, don’t we? And conversely, we don’t hear what we don’t want to hear. This is reinforced for me every single time I substitute in junior high!) It was in this preparation piece that Jesus hands me peace. The NLT makes His truth crystal clear: “If you really loved Me, you would be happy that I am going to the Father…”
After a thirty-three year-long mission trip, Jesus was finally returning Home. Though the travel itinerary was intense (flogging and crucifixion was part of His journey), He could already see past the trauma straight into Heaven’s gates. He knew where He was going. Jesus was ready to be reunited with His Father. And if His disciples had truly known Him and truly known His Father, they couldn’t help but be happy for Him. Love longs for God’s best for the other, even it it’s the worst we can possibly conceive for ourselves.
I’m convicted. My mother is with the Father. She is living in the light and love of the unbroken presence of God Almighty. She has no pain and no sorrows. She is filled with joy and purpose and peace. If I truly love her, I will be happy for her.
This Mother’s Day, I am picturing my happy momma walking through meadows of wildflowers with the One whom her soul loves. I’m imagining her engaging in deep theological discussions where everything Jesus says makes perfect sense and ah-ha moments abound. I can see them now, sitting around a table laden with olives and cheese and bread and honey, breaking out in belly laughs when the Father cracks a joke. Conversations linger over long dinners and her soul is strengthened by unbroken fellowship with her Lord. No, I wouldn’t tug my mother away from her current reality for anything. Instead, I’ll just stay the course myself, more convinced each and every day of the incredible homecoming just over the horizon.
“Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 5:8 NLT)
Dear Lord, please forgive us for loving selfishly. The two words are incongruent, but our flesh betrays our affection. Help us learn to love as You do: heart set on God’s best for the other person, even at the price of personal pain. Thank You for the glimpse of heaven this morning. When we hurt, help us pull up that picture again: our loved one happy and whole at Home with You. Let the imagery of heaven tug us toward eternity, certain of the hope we have in You. Comfort our hearts in hard seasons and set our sights on finishing our own race well. Amen.