Grow or Go Away

“When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said “Go away from me Lord, I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken.” (Luke 5:8-9 NIV)

When Peter came face to face with Jesus’ authority, he crumbled. This was the first time, when they met on the shores of Galilee, but we notice this pattern again and again with Peter. The longer he walked with the living Christ, the more often divine friendship exposed his flesh. This process – this mortification – was painful and ongoing – a Sisyphean task for sure. Yet, despite the soul-piercing discomfort, Peter stayed with Christ. He told us quite plainly; for him there is no other reasonable response.

“Simon Peter answered Him “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” (John 6:68-69 NIV)

I feel for Peter. Walking with Jesus demands a dying to self that is unreasonable yet inexplicable. Like the most outspoken and obstinate disciple, I cannot bring myself to part ways with the Savior. Nothing less then Jesus makes any sense.

To be truthful; Live Dead Joy book is kicking my rear. It’s biblical truth laid out plainly and it challenges me to the core each and every day. I can put it down or I can change. For me, the choice is clear – I need to let go of the parts of my life that don’t honor our Savior. Change is hard but it is crucial. We cannot walk a long ways with Christ and stay the same. We are transformed by His continual nearness: recast into a more accurate reflection of Him or cast aside into our own folly. We can reject this ongoing revision or we can receive it, cooperate and appreciate His attentive devotion to ridding us of our self-destructive nature.

Judas chose rejection. He parted ways with the Savior. But separate paths from the Savior will always include betrayal. We cannot simply walk away from Christ; treachery is required for the transaction.

So Peter and I, we stay. Even though it costs a little more each passing hour. Every day with Jesus reveals a new stretch of our stubborn flesh and requires a bit more death than the day before. But where else will we find the words of life? To part ways with Jesus is to embrace death entirely.

Lord, the longer we walk with You, the more we realize our fallen nature. Forgive us. Convict us. Conform us to Your image instead of this world. Give us the grace to keep letting go of our sinful selves and the strength to take hold of You. Amen.

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