"Today, if only you would heard His voice, "Do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah, as you did that day at Massah in the wilderness, where your ancestors tested Me; they tried Me, though they had seen what I did." (Psalm 95:7b-9 NIV)
The daily office got my attention this morning. Psalm 95 rang out the bell-toll for thanksgiving and bounced off my newly-hardening heart. It was initially surprising, but it should have been expected. Repeated wounding results in scar tissue and today I can feel it; the ropey muscle wrapping itself around my most crucial organ. I do not want a hard heart. I do not want a stiff neck. Yet living with fallen people (myself included) inevitably creates trauma and stiffness. Injuries left unattended always become scars. And scars are hard places set off from God’s mercy.
Forgive us, God, when we hurt and we hide it from You.
The psalmist writes of the Israelites and how we each are like them; all of us amidst a mighty exodus. God’s people had left the slavery of Egypt and we are leaving the more subtle slavery of sin. The Israelites struggled to learn to live as free people. It seems we do, too.
Meribah and Massah was the name of a place described in Exodus. The Israelites just had just begun their journey, the Lord had parted the Red Sea for their passage in chapter 14. Fiercely followed by Pharoah’s armies, the waters rushed in and the enemy washed away while the newly freed Israelites stood watch on the shore. In chapter 15 they sang a song about the might and glory of God. But by the end of that very chapter, they were grumbling about growing thirst and non-potable water. God directed Moses to throw a rock into the stream and it was instantly purified. In 16, they are fed by from the heavens through miraculous provision of manna and quail. And then, in 17, they are thirsty once more, beleaguered by complaint and quarrels amongst themselves. These are the acrid people the psalmist brings to mind as he calls us back to gratitude again.
"And he called the place Massah and Meribah because the Israelites quarreled and because they tested the Lord saying, "Is the Lord among us or not?" (Exodus 17:7 NIV)
Meribah and Massah are anyplace that we find ourselves grumbling against God and bickering with our travel companions. I search my heart this morning and it only takes a moment to trigger alarm bells. Complaint and argument are drowning out my thanksgiving. Can you relate? Can you identify the cry of ‘unfair’ or ‘not enough’ in your own frame?
Like the Israelites, I look back at my journey with God and I, too, see miraculous provision after miraculous provision. His travel itinerary has been flawless thus far. We have never gone without anything we actually need. Why would I wonder about today? Why would I grumble against Him or provoke my fellow pilgrims? The answer is clear. I’ve allowed gratitude to seep from my heart. My thousand gift list has stalled out because we have stepped out, stretching our spiritual legs a little farther into the wilderness than we’ve ever gone before. Turns out, it’s far more demanding to discover the beauty in the desert stretches. Yet it’s still essential. Skills are honed when they are challenged. The wilderness is a wonderful opportunity to get really good at gratitude, if we are willing.
The thing about our exodus into strange terrain is that it’s easy to take a wide angle and discount the whole journey. It’s hot, it’s dusty, it’s visually uninteresting. Gratitude, though, begs us to look closer, to resist the tendency to take things at face value. We aren’t painting life with a big, sloppy brush of thanksgiving. The thousand gifts are often tiny, intricate details, not easily discerned in the big picture. Such magnification requires slowing down. Rushing will only blur what’s designed to be discovered: seen and celebrated. The blooms on the cactus. The unexpected spring among the rocks. The wren making it’s home among the thorns. The beetle bravely making it’s way across the cracks. There are miracles amidst the driest seasons, but in all our hurrying and muttering we will miss them by altogether. Slow down, take careful account. God has gifts in the desert for us to discover.
So today I leave you with two questions. I pray you don’t blow past them and on into your day. Instead, let these questions sit in your soul and search out any stubborn flesh, any place where the scars have grown over and set your heart to harden.
- Where is your personal Meriabah and Massah — were do you tend to complain and question God?
- What are you grateful for today? Look closely and be specific.
“This giving of thanks to the living God, who is the source of all goodness in our lives, provides the antidote to our tendency to harden our hearts. This is especially true when we find ourselves in a desert experience of disappointment, suffering or loss.” (Peter Scazzero)
Lord, please forgive us for our hurry and our bad attitude. How quickly we forget the miraculous provision of yesterday. Give us grace, but also give us understanding. Slow us down to see the gifts this day. Steady our heart with thanksgiving. Soothe the angry, injured places. Heal us as we choose to move at Your pace, embracing the strange beauty of wilderness stretches. Help us see You in this place and trust Your provision as we move through. Amen