“The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert, it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?” (Genesis 16:7-8 NIV)
I have so many questions about Hagar. First off, how did she come to be Sarai’s slave? Was she a leftover from Sarai’s sentence as an Egyptian princess-possession? Did Sarai receive a parting gift from an evil Pharaoh even though her husband refused the loot from the evil king of Sodom? How old was Hagar? How did she feel about leaving her homeland and being put forward as a surrogate? How did Sarai treat Hagar? It seems Hagar was wielded as a possession much the way Sarai had been in Egypt. Did Hagar get a thrill from being pushed together with her master, or was she repulsed? We don’t know, and dare I say, it didn’t matter. What choice did Hagar have? Abram and Sarai were her sole source of provision, protection and connection. The pressure exerted on Hagar had to be enormous. And so, willing or unwilling, she participated in their sinful scheme. Fertilization commenced. A seed took root in Hagar’s borrowed womb. The household was shattered by the realization of their counterfeit dream. They had connived and conceived a living nightmare.
Hagar and Sarai despised one another. Sarai threw blame on Abram. Abram blame Sarai. And ultimately Hagar ran out to the desert to die. Ironically, it may have been the very fear that had propelled her to Abram’s bed to begin with.
What a tangled web sin weaves! So many transgressions sent this expectant mother into exile. Even, perhaps, her own. What happens next?
“She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” (Genesis 16:13 NIV)
God met her in the wilderness.
This Egyptian handmaiden, raised in the throes of idolatry, had sudden opportunity to come face to face with Yahweh. And what does He – the King of all – say to the soiled slave girl? He sees her. Her ugly, complicated, messed-up existence had been laid bare before Him. And He allowed her to see Him.
This is grace.
We are all ensnared in this ugly web of sin. Yet God meets us in our wilderness wandering. He sees us. He lets us see Him. He speaks presence and peace and hope. And He creates a path forward.
I don’t know who needs to hear this today. Maybe it’s only me. People are sinful. Life is messy. The far-reaching effects of desire and jealousy and fear are real factors in our narrative and they leave ugly marks on the once-clean pages of our story. But God sees. He knows all the characters and all the exploitations and even our own contributions, yet He is ready and willing to meet us in the midst of our chaos and crazy.
Hagar was able to go on. She was strengthened to live out her full purpose. And so will we, when we look for God in the dusty stretches of our story.
Lord, we are so grateful that we are never too far gone for Your grace. You tend to us, despite our destitution and depravity. You left heaven to traipse through our wilderness and meet us in the lowest elevation of our story. Thank You for being the God who sees. Amen.