"In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly." (1 Samuel 1:10 NIV)
Amidst my daily readings this morning, I noted how Hannah took the full force of her feelings straight to the Lord. Hannah was a first wife who couldn’t bear children. Her husband’s second wife made Hannah’s barrenness a matter of personal provocation; hounding her year after year. Hannah was tormented to a place of lament and loss of appetite. Though her husband asked what troubled her, Hannah saved her strongest feelings for the courts of the Lord. She refused to lash out at the people she lived with and loved.
When Hannah arrived in the house of God, she turned open the faucet on her feelings. She did not hold back one bit. Hannah was so distraught that she caught Samuel the priest’s attention. He assumed she was drunk and chastised her. Hannah’s response was straightforward:
"I am a woman deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord... I have bene praying here out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:15-16 NIV)
Remarkably, the priest modeled our Savior’s great exchange program a thousand or more years ahead of schedule.
"Eli answered, "Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant what you have asked of Him." She said, "May your servant find favor in your eyes." Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast." (1 Samuel 1:17-18 NIV)
This entire reading supports the instructions in my morning pause today. John Eldredge shared from the gospel of John and suggested the ability to govern our emotions. Consider this possibility along with me:
"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27 NIV)
We’ve concluded this before, how Jesus has a peace exchange program for each of us. He offers us peace, but we must trade in our strife. Jesus doesn’t “give as the world gives”. This phrase asks us to consider, just how does the world give?
The world gives with expectation. Stipulations. Quid pro quo. Without regard for the recipient. Sparingly. On it’s own terms. Haphazardly. Randomly. Impermanently. Revocably. The world gives without any promise of durability. It’s here today and gone tomorrow. Very little stands the test of time and appetite of greedy people. Not so with Jesus: what He give, He will not repossess. The peace He imparts to His disciples in exchange for their tears is still available for His followers two thousand years later.
Let’s circle back to this idea of being able to govern our emotions. Governing is not the same as disregarding. Quite the opposite. John Eldredge encourages us to be aware of our feelings but still able to rule over them. Jesus implied this when He said “Do not let your hearts be troubled” — what a powerful instruction! We can feel the feelings, but choose to live out our knowing despite the feelings. We learn to do this when we deposit our feelings at Christ’s feet.
Governing feelings is a special challenge for folks like me. I’m a fan of the enneagram personality test, it’s proven to be a helpful tool in personal relations. I’m a Two on the enneagram test and Twos lead with their heart (along with the the Threes and Fours). Other personality types lead with their head or their intuition, but for me, it’s feelings first. My personal trend toward emotional leadership can be a tremendous strength but also, a burden.
This idea of governing our feelings can be daunting. My feelings are loud and powerful: a bit like the Niagara River spilling over the Falls. Even with that analogy, I recall that the Niagara features a series of locks along the way: allowing for the regulation of the flow of rushing waters. A little research supports this thought. Niagara actually has three flow settings; day, night and tourist. Turning down the flow of the river was essential, the fall shelf is eroding beneath the rushing waters. Look again and you’ll locate the rocks in the fall bowl.
Perhaps our emotions are similar? Full flow of feeling can be damaging to our environment and the souls around us. Fortunately, our Savior can withstand our rushing emotions with all the locks open. We approach Him with emotional awareness and honesty, and then He helps us find appropriate settings for interactions others.
In emotional regulation, Jesus offers the peace we’re missing. I think again of the river downstream from the falls. It is beautiful and serene, the green waters go by in a deep channel. It looks wildly different from the chaos crashing over the fall shelf just a half mile upstream.
Jesus does this for our feelings. He absorbs the mayhem of our emotions and settles into His presence and sovereignty. We learn to flow in peace when we learn to flow through Him. We require this peace. If we lead with our emotions unchecked, we descend into social bedlam and moral depravity. The book of Judges is such a startling example of this: “In those days, everyone did as they saw fit.” (Judges 21:25) Doing what feels good is a terrible platitude and we see this digression in our own society.
Jesus tells us – and all who trust in Him – that we can choose our response to trouble. We honor our feelings by directing their flow toward Christ. He will help us erect a lock system to prevent relational erosion and environmental destruction. He will infuse peace in ways we can’t understand but absolutely appreciate.
"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in eery situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:5-7 NIV)
"He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guide me along right paths for His name's sake." (Psalm 23:2b-3 NIV)
Lord, today we’re thankful that You are willing to receive our emotions at full throttle. Our Niagara is a dripping sink beside Your majesty and power. Yet You receive Your children in any and all conditions. Help us engineer a lock system to regulate our emotional flow. We don’t want to erode or destroy. Please disable our most volatile feelings before we rush out into the world and inflict needless damage. Trade out our troubles for peace so we can live in a way that honors You and refreshes others. Amen.