“Moses was tending the flocks of Jethro, his father-in-law…” (Exodus 3:1 NIV)
Yesterday was Wednesday and Rob and I had a youth service to broadcast. Because of our lead pastor’s surprise drive-through birthday parade during our regular time slot, we tried to record early and in our still-being-remodeled youth room. This was the first full service we’d held in this space, so all the tech is newly installed (tv, sound, lights, etc) and of course, we faced challenges before we even began. But once we overcame our issues, the service went flawlessly: the welcome was smooth, the game was fun, the worship anointed and the message was on point.
It was an awesome service. I said “amen” at the end with a confidence that we (my family of four) had participated in something powerful and purposeful. And within a few moments, we realized that none of it had streamed online, it wasn’t even recorded by the broadcast service we were utilizing. My heart sunk. I wanted to cry. I had left it all out there on the field and it turns out the field was only occupied by us Thoresons.
There was no time to re-record. Besides there was obviously a tech issue that needed to be resolved before we made another attempt. I had to make the hard choice to send out a group text postponing service until today. It was time to switch gears and move on to party prep. Even though I was excited to prepare the scene for the birthday parade, I was deeply disappointed about our service and it was hard to change gears and serve in spite of my feelings.
What did I preach on last night and then again this morning? Moses in Midian. Moses spent forty years as a fugitive from Pharaoh. He fled to Midian where he met and married Jethro’s daughter and as Exodus 3 opens, we find him serving despite his disappointment. I related Moses personal exile to Egypt to our own experience in social distancing I related Moses personal exile to Egypt to our own experience in social distancing. The major emotion my students are experiencing right now isn’t fear, but disappointment. And we see that Moses, though deeply disappointed by the event in his own life – he even names his firstborn “I have become a foreigner in a foreign land” – figures out a way to serve in spite of his feelings.
It was almost ironic that last night, after preaching to an empty airwaves, I had opportunity to serve through my disappointment. I had a birthday extravaganza to tend to. Dismay does not dismiss us from Kingdom service. Moses found a way to serve in a foreign land and so can we.
If we are being honest, we are all deeply disappointed by the events unfolding in our world right now. For me, every day I have to climb out over the profound sadness I have for those who are sick and dying. I have hurdle past the helplessness I feel and focus on the folks I can serve right now. For me, in my tiny corner of Texas, that’s my family (the four souls in the sanctuary yesterday), it’s my pastor and our students. I can offer up prayers and scriptures, I can allow myself to be comforted so that I can comfort others. I can wash my hands and wipe down surfaces. I can serve in spite of disappointment.
“And Moses said “Here I am.”” (Exodus 3:4 NIV)
Sometimes the bravest this we can do is show up and serve. Moses modeled this for us. I wonder, who and how can you serve today?
Lord, we won’t pretend we aren’t disappointed. Our hearts are heavy about all the sickness and death all over the globe. Please protect us from emotional paralysis. Lord, instead show us ways to serve. Keep us on track with You, aligned in Kingdom purpose amidst this crisis. May we overcome our own feelings as we make You known. Amen.