“With him came Nicodemus, the man who had come to Jesus at night. He brought seventy-five pounds of perfumed ointment made from myrrh and aloes.” (John 19:39 NIV)
In a time of great panic, Joseph of Arimethea and Nicodemus worked together to do a hard job with great grace. And because of their mutual commitment to a Kingdom cause, they had front row seats for a miracle.
This is a good picture of how married couples can cope in the midst of crisis. While I have seen post after post about keeping our kids alive and learning to homeschool and how to engage our children in the extended break. Many of us have significantly altered our daily work schedules and social routines. We’ve worked out contingency plans for getting our family to church and keeping our people in household supplies, but what about our spouses? Have we checked in on them or are we settling in to quarantine life without consideration of their feelings, fears and stressors? Adults are creatures of habit and the last week has been anything but routine. Have you checked in with your mate to see how their really doing in the midst of the pandemic?
If we’re being honest, we’re all a bit scared. And sometimes it takes a whole lot of courage and jut the right environment to admit to our fear. Fred Roger’s wisdom still rings true; “Anything that’s human is mentionable and anything that is mentionable is manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary.” We all feel stuff right now, and spouses need a safe time and space to process those feelings.
I don’t know about your home, but ours is tight. I’ve mentioned before how we live in nine hundred square feet with our fifteen year old. Yesterday we just needed some square footage to ourselves. Rob and I brewed fancy home coffees in to go cups and took them to the car. We lost ourselves for a few hours on backroads and adult conversation and when we came back we were both a whole lot more ready to take on the world, together.
Husbands and wives can share the emotional and spiritual load of this pandemic. We can encourage one another as we navigate together to a new normal. God may want to mark these days with a miracle in our marriages and a phenomenon in our families. Think about it; many households have just been floating along without any real mission or values or connectivity. And now, all of the sudden, we are home together for weeks at a time. What an opportunity to reconnect and reprioritize!
Start with your spouse. See them today and reach out in compassion. Get away for a bit, even if it’s only for a car ride to nowhere, and leverage this strange season to make a long-term difference in your marriage and family.
“Two are better than one, they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. A person standing alone can be attacked, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NLT)
Lord, please strengthen marriages in the throes of this crisis. I believe You are bringing light to the things that are most crucial: faith and family. Help us seize these days as unique opportunities to treasure one another and consider our eternities. Amen.