“When he reached a certain place, he stopped of the night because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones there he put it under his head and lay down to sleep.” (Genesis 28:11 NIV)
I’ve been tripping over Jacob’s rock pillow all week. I’m so visual, I read this text and I can’t wrap my head around a stone under one’s head on purpose. If you search for a pillow on Amazon, there are a lot of crazy sleeping contraptions available, but none of them are composed of stone.
Yesterday, the Good Doctor and I met for our Easter morning hike. She brought her children along for the adventure. As we were unloading from the car, I saw a large rock in the parking lot and asked her ten year old if he’d thought it would make a good pillow. He laughed and immediately got on the ground to test it out. He propped against it in a reclined position and we agreed that might not be as terrible as I had initially pictured.
This morning, though, I’m back in the text and I see how Jacob took a stone and “put it under his head to sleep.” This wasn’t a rock Lazy-boy as we had supposed. This was a blatant pillow head propping made of rock. Wouldn’t the ground itself have been a softer landing?
And then it hit me, Jacob was in a place of self-imposed pain. I thought of the old adage, “He made his bed, now he has to lie in it.” Jacob had blown up his life and this little detail in scripture helps us understand just how low he was feeling. I can remember after a bad break up in high school. I hung up the phone on the wall, went straight to my room and started belting out Celine Dion’s “All By Myself” at volume 56. (I’ve always had a flare for the dramatic.) Maybe Jacob’s rock pillow was a little like my personal pity party.
Here’s what’s truly awesome, though. God met Jacob in his bed of stone and dirt. The Almighty showed up in the mess of repercussion that Jacob had created by his own volition. God met him in his misery and offered him a better way to live: in relationship with Him.
This is such good news for us. Like Jacob, we mess up. We connive and twist world systems to our own benefit. We violate the trust of others and abscond with what doesn’t belong to us. We create violent enemies and escape by the skin of our teeth. And when we are finally forced to lie down in the bedrock of consequence, we discover that God inhabits that place also.
God doesn’t just meet us in those low moments, He promises us more of Himself. He let young Jacob know: ‘I’m with you, I’ll watch over you wherever you go and I’ll bring you back home.’ Those promises still hold water for us today. Even when we blow up our life, our loving God is willing to meet and keep us all the way home.
"He remembered us in our low estate, His love endures forever." (Psalm 136:23 NIV)
Lord, today we are wowed by Your grace amidst our self-sabotage. Thank You for seeking us at our lowest elevation. May we recognize our contribution to any devastation. May we be sensitive to Your presence and sure of Your promises as we climb out from the dust.
Help us find our way Home. Amen.