“Now Adam had sexual relations with his wife, Eve, and she became pregnant. When she gave birth to Cain, she said, “With the Lord’s help, I have produced a man!” (Genesis 4:1 NLT)
Eve was the first woman to bear children. What’s more: long before Cain was even a thought on her mind, the Lord had warned her of the horrors of childbirth. I’d imagine Eve had turned those words over in her mind a million times between her revelation of conception and the moment of birth.
“To the woman He said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children…” (Genesis 3:16 NIV)
If you don’t believe childbirth to be horrifying, you probably haven’t experienced it. I recommend reading Call the Midwife, author and midwife, Jennifer Worth, chronicles birth in clear terms. We realize, also, that Eve hadn’t read “What to Expect When Your Expecting”. She didn’t have a mother to hold her hand and cheer her on through labor, transition and delivery. There were no midwives in attendance of Cain’s arrival. No one in the history of humanity had ever experienced the stark reality of childbirth before Eve crawled through it’s ravages.
Honestly, Eve may very well have wondered if she was dying, rather than giving birth. Twenty-one years ago, in a room full of nurses and doctors, I was convinced that I was giving my life for my firstborn. My prayer was that that he would outlive me. We had a traumatic birth that took almost a year to recover from. Eve, had never even heard rumors of labor before she experienced her own. And when it was over, she was convinced it would have been impossible apart from God. Note her exclamation:
“With the Lord’s help, I have produced a man!” (Genesis 4:1 NIV)
It seems our culture has forgotten, we cannot produce people apart from God. In an age of women empowerment, we have lauded ladies as strong and capable vessels of life, but truly: we partner with God in the production of children. We may be able to grow babies in petri dishes, but God alone provides the egg and the sperm. Only He knits cells from nothing into something. God is the One who speaks the spark of life that shocks a tiny infant heart into it’s first butterfly beats. Mothering is His idea, and He expects it to be a partnership with Him.
Truthfully, I am a ways past my child-rearing years. It would take a miracle of divine proportion to fire up the gears needed to get that part of our story back in motion. But I read of Eve’s proclamation this morning and I realize she didn’t say “I have produced a baby!” She said “I have produced a man.” I’m reminded, we don’t have babies so they can stay babies. We have babies that grow up into full-grown people: men and women who walk around and make decisions and interact with God and others. If we listen closely, Eve tells us that child-rearing requires the Lord’s help from cradle to grave. (Lord-willing, momma goes first.) We are raising some-day adults and we cannot possibly succeed in that awesome and holy task without the Lord’s assistance.
I realize this is a Mother’s Day message, and as usual, I’m a day late and a dollar short. It occurs to me, though, that mothering is certainly not limited to one day on the annual calendar. Mothering is a day-in and day-out endeavor. This feels obvious when our children are in diapers requiring bottles every three hours, but the responsibility does not lessen when they spread their wings and leave the nest.
Much to my delight, both of my near-adult children were home over the weekend. They each shared cares and concerns with their dad and I. And of course, our careful eyes caught the things they weren’t ready yet to speak, or even see. Together, Rob and I faithfully take these concerns to the Father. We continue to partner with Him in our weakness as parents. We know that our responsibility as empty nest parents has not lifted, it has only shifted. We love our kids from our knees now, trusting God to tend to all the places of their hearts that we cannot possibly reach.
Lord, today, again, we ask for Your help when it comes to our children. We acknowledge our weakness as fallen human people taking a pass at parenting. We know we are limited, but thankfully, You are entirely able and entirely faithful. Once more, we place our children in Your capable hands. Please make allowances for all our failings. Meet with our sons and daughters personally, as You have met with us. Capture their hearts and orchestrate their lives according to Your glory. Amen.
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