When I found the one my heart loves I held him and I would not let him go.” (Song of Songs 3:4 NIV)
When the woman awakes and finder her love absent, she goes after him. She does not give up. She finds him and then holds on to him tightly.
Marriage requires a long holding. The trouble is, we get disenchanted, annoyed, exhausted or infuriated and we begin to lessen our grip. We allow our marital vows to become distant memories instead of building on them as the framework for day to day living.
I love this ancient wise woman’s response to her husband’s disengagement. She awoke in the night to an empty space in the bed beside her and she got up and went after him. She searched through the city until she found him and then she took hold of him and would not let him go.
We will hit seasons of disconnect within our union. It’s a lifetime commitment and there are going to be moments when we aren’t feeling it. Fight for each other anyway. Look for one another. And when you find him again, grab hold and refuse to let go.
I get it, it’s tough. We need supernatural help in our holding. We are weak and fickle people and making a love story last forty or fifty years will require a level of faithfulness we simply don’t possess. Thankfully, our Father does and He is more than willing to lend Himself to the success of our union, if we’ll only ask.
We remember from Jesus’ first miracle in Canaan; God goes where He’s invited. So many couples invite Him to the wedding, but never into the marriage. But without God in the midst it, we are rarely equipped to hang on to one another for the lifetime intended.
“They are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:6 NIV)
We quote this text at weddings, typically as a warning those outside the marriage. But when we look at this scripture in context, we see that Jesus was talking about divorce as a result of the hardness of hearts: issues within the union itself. In my worst moments of marriage, the Lord has reminded me of this verse and even rebuked me: don’t be the one to put this asunder. So often our marriages crumble from internal fractures and silence, not from external forces. We must fight for our union and keep hold of our spouse as long as we both shall live.
Lord, today we recognize Your lifetime intention for marriages. We see in scripture that sometimes staying together will require us leaving our comfort zone and going after our spouse. We need to be willing to reach out and take hold, even when we are hurting. Please supernaturally strengthen our resolve and embrace. We require Your level of faithfulness when we are wounded. What You have put together, let no one separate. Amen.