Compassion that Creates Connection

"Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you." (2 Corinthians 13:11 NIV)

Our Wednesday night Bible study has been centered on compassion these past couple weeks. We began with a week focused on our family; discussing ways in which we could express empathy to the members of our immediate household. The following week, we targeted our friends; striving to encourage the people we choose to spend our free time with. This week, we landed on the workplace. We spent a full hour delving into the challenging personalities that come with gainful employment.

Scripture always convicts, so, not surprisingly, my heart was squeezed. I pictured a particular client – a mother of the groom who was in a mood. The poor gal came in with a chip on her shoulder and an agenda to be unhappy. I had spent an hour with her at the beginning of the week, studiously searching our racks for just the right fit. She has a unique frame and specific insecurities that I could not satisfy, no matter how I tried. We had finally settled on a gown with significant alterations, but not without abuse. I inwardly groaned when she scheduled another appointment without purchase, and by Wednesday evening, her second fitting loomed on my calendar.

Sure enough, the hour came. I steeled my loins, put on my sweetest smile, and set out to serve her as best as I could. Truthfully, it was another difficult encounter. She had dismissed her previous selection. Her heart was set on something we don’t carry. We tried on dress after dress with nothing near to a win. I purposed to stay positive, remaining as empathetic and enthusiastic as I could manage.

When we had exhausted our inventory she was still unsatisfied. Visibly dismayed, she shared how her one son typically aided in such decisions. In an effort to be of help, I cheerily said “Maybe bring him in on your hunt?” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, my instincts said there was a reason for his absence. And then, the dam broke. All her hard creases softened in a second as she blinked back tears: “He can’t. He passed away a year ago.” This hurting mother was facing the first major event her son would miss. I could immediately recognize that any disdain I’d endured from this woman was, in fact, grief. This momma was bleeding out over what was meant to be a happy occasion but had instead become a stark reminder of the familial incompleteness she faced every day.

After she shared her story, I explained that I was a believer who had lost several loved ones, also. We talked about heaven and the Savior that eternity is hinged on. I promised to include her and her family in our evening prayers and we did. I’m hopeful that a little compassion in an unexpected place lightened the load for this grieving momma and I’m grateful for the lesson offered yet again.

I want you to know that I am not the hero in this story. The Holy Spirit is. Remember, I was annoyed and frustrated and more than a little resentful the first time around. Dreading the second. But in His grace, God sent that heartbroken mother back into our store and corrected me in the meantime.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgive you." (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)

Compassion only costs us a little pride. Aren’t we actively working to rid ourselves of that anyway?

That momma in mourning remind me that compassion creates connection and most humans are looking for connection these days. We are almost all carrying a heavy load and searching for a safe place to set it down for a few minutes of relief. When we offer another compassion, we offer them much-needed space and a chance to catch their breath.

Lord, we have so far to grow. Forgive us for being defensive. Prideful. Offended. Let us look at the cross and again see Your live poured out for the undeserving – chiefly us. May Your compassion on our messy, sinful nature produce our own compassion for the broken humanity we interact with every day. Humble us and help us see hurting souls as You do. May we be a safe space to set the load down for a little while. Amen.

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