Created for Connection

“The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18 NIV)

Of course, we are highly familiar with the context of this scripture. It is in the Creation story; in the wake between Adam and the introduction of Eve. It is most certainly a divine directive for marriage, but I wonder if we can’t see a second truth as well?

We need each other. Life is not meant to be lived alone. Despite Simon and Garfunkel’s woeful song lyrics, no man is an island. We weren’t designed to live apart from one another and or from our God. Yet the Fall was a catalyst for loneliness. Sin sent us scurrying away from Creator and away from each other. Humanity has struggled to make and maintain meaningful connection ever since.

Writer, Dick Foth, insists that loneliness is the deadliest epidemic of our time. He compares it to the Spanish Flu of the early 1900’s, punching death holes in an entire generation of young people. From where I sit, this seems to be true. Our individual screens, ironically designed for communication and connectivity, have created digital isolation. Unintentional, we suppose, until we read how tech companies compete for ‘user engagement’ as the commodity they are trading.

I wonder, at what cost? Suicide rates are the highest they have been in 30 years. It is the tenth leading cause of death in the States. In 2017 alone there were 1.4 million attempts, resulting in 47,173 deaths. I noticed recently the government has begun an anti-suicide ad campaign and to me the ad looks more suggestive than persuasive. The word SUICIDE catches attention in bold letters on highway billboards; I’m not sure it’s doing any good.

Additionally concerning is the rise of depression and anxiety. Anxiety is now the most common mental illness in the US, affecting 18% of adults according to the ADAA. That’s 40 million people milling about trying to survive daily life. Sadly, anxiety in children is even higher, as much as 25% of 13-18 year olds battle some sort of anxiety disorder. Researchers are saying this generation of young adults are the most stressed out ever, suffering from decision anxiety due to information overload. But maybe, also, relational scarcity?

What is the common denominator for all this pain and stress? My theory is separation. First, from God; we are the least-believing America we’ve ever been. George Barna has begun referring to us as a post-Christian culture. (My heart sinks even typing that.) I wonder, how can we find joy in purpose if we’ve rejected Creator and commandments? Not only have we pushed away from any sort of divine connection/directive, we’ve simultaneously pushed away from each other. Privacy fences, 24 hour streaming media sources, central heat and air, light fixtures, attached garages and modern appliances have squirreled us away indoors and away from day to day interaction with others. Add in Amazon prime two-day delivery and online grocery shopping and one could hermit for weeks or more on end. I’m not saying these conveniences are bad, but they have certainly changed the way we interact in our communities. We need to be aware of the potential side-effects of these services and stay intentional about connection.

My daughter and I have been on an Adam Ruins Everything kick. We watched an episode on the prison system the other day and the discussion on solitary confinement caught my attention. Psychologists are beginning to rethink this standard-issue prison tactic, saying it causes inhumane mental stress. Solitary confinement can increase hypertension and bring on headaches, migraines, dizziness and heart palpitations. (Doesn’t that read like anxiety?) Solitarily confined inmates experience sensory deprivation, which contributes to time disorientation, confusion and even total mental breakdown. Some prisoners never recover. I think we need to pay attention to that. Psychologists agree, loneliness has long-term affects on the brain. My question is, why would we self-impose such a sentence on ourselves? Why do we choose solitary confinement?

Pain is the answer we are avoiding. Connecting with people is potentially painful. But we are learning that avoiding connection entirely is definitely destructive. We’ve got to decide which pain we’ll permit. Engaging others is scary, but essential for our own growth and survival. Remember, we are created to connect with others and God. One without the other will produce mixed results.

So here’s the question. Who can you connect with today? Furthermore, how can you spend some time with the Creator? Perhaps you could have a discussion about your belief or even your questions with a friend? Perhaps you could tug each other a bit more toward Jesus?

On my evening walk last night, I noticed these two tall evergreen trees by an elementary school. They got me thinking; this pair of hardwood arrows stretching upward, drawing my gaze toward heaven. What an illustration of connectedness with God and others. We grow together, just like these trees, side by side, challenging each other in pursuit and exaltation of our Creator.

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor; if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But its anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV)

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other – all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV)

Lord, we struggle to stay connected: with others and with You. We recognize this as ongoing trauma from the Fall. Please help us as we seek to rebuild relationship with You. Lead us in relationship with others. We recognize the enemy’s strategy to separate and come against it in Jesus’ name. Amen.