“Then Job replied: “If only my gloom and darkness could be weighed and all my misery placed on the scales! It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas — no wonder my words have been impetuous.””(Job 6:1-3)
As of late, even my dreams are full of questions. This morning, in the last moments before waking, there was a woman standing before me; a neighbor from my childhood. I recognized her face but could not retrieve her name, hard as I tried. She spoke a single sentence that set the sea afire in me. “I knew your parents.”
The power of four small words is alarming; such a sentiment immediately incited vast longing. How can a single sentence encompass so much? Our vocabulary is limited while our feelings abound. It was clear from this woman’s countenance that she was about to say more when my alarm broke through, dissolving the dream. The familiar woman washed away with her secrets still intact.
Job expressed it so well; how loss is never satisfied. We have no words, no measurement for the constant, nagging drag of sorrow. The ones left living are preoccupied by the memories of their people passed on. I had lunch with my Sarah yesterday, and she shared some of her own hauntings; how country music makes her think of her uncle. Her coworkers are singing and she’s fighting feelings. Campers showing off for their grandmas on the zipline and Sarah’s tucking away tears as she straps the children harnesses in for safe-keeping. I hugged her because I get it. Grief tracks us down in the most inconvenient places. Just last week, I was walking the aisles of Walmart when I caught ordinary interactions mothers and daughters throughout the store. In a matter of moments, I was ready to abandon my cart for the safety of my car and some kleenex. Crying in public makes me crazy. Mom has been gone almost eight years, and still, I consider her daily.
Job lamented the lack of a scale – he believed misery should be measurable. If it was measurable, we could know when it was complete, we could see who hurts the worst. Job understood the weakness of his words in comparison to his pain. Well-meaning phrases are trite in the face of tragedy. I recognize his anguish and the lack of language to express what needs to be expelled from a soul to survive.
But Job was wrong. There is a divine scale to measure misery. We cannot perceive it because we are yet thrust upon it. Apostle Paul wrote of this instrument and the lack of balance between anguish and eternity. His words bolstered my soul through my mother’s cancer diagnosis, subsequent flailing and eventual death.
“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Corinthians 4:17 NIV)
There is, in fact, a scale of suffering. It’s just that we are still sit in the far pan. We can hardly see past our current misery because of this broken, fallen, afflicted firmament. But God assures us, the scale is tipped: prominently and permanently. When we finally pass from this life to the next in faith, we will see that all the ugly awful is light and momentary in comparison to eternity with our Maker and Messiah.
The game changer while we wait? It’s in the very next verse. Paul appeals to us: fix our eyes upon what is eternal. It’s not natural to look beyond our current plight, but it is essential. Looking up will change our perspective and grow our ability to endure the inevitable losses here on earth.
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV)
In last night’s bible study we were discussing the tail end of Mark 14 – the details surrounding Jesus’ trials and mistreatment. Somehow we digressed into questions about heaven and hell. By the end of our time together, we each left with smiles on our faces because focusing on heaven always fuels us for today. When we remember what comes next, when we take the time to consider the depth of joy and wonder that weighs enough to tip the scale on cancer and school shootings, dialysis and depression, on corrupt politicians, fraudulent court proceedings, record inflation and all the other ugly things fallen man has made prominent — well, it lightens the load for today by some measure.
“However, as it has been written, “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and why no human mind has conceived” the things God has prepared for those who love Him — ” (1 Corinthians 2:9 NIV)
As believers, we must over and over again remind each other to “Look up!” Our redemption draws nigh. Our Savior is coming and He has declared this whole mess to be worth it!
Lord, we are weighed down by the cares of this world. We hurt over loss and pain and gross mismanagement. We feel mangled by the mess of sin and strife. Help us remember, there is a measurement for our grief. You, Almighty, collect every tear. And as heavy as all this feels, heaven will make amends for it all. The joy and fullness that await us are impossible to comprehend, but we can wonder and we can be lifted up by our hope. Help us to keep looking up. When our friends are feeling weak, may we be encouraging. Send us similar hope dealers when we are down in the dumps. May we remember that even our deepest current despair cannot tip the scale on the glory yet to come. Amen.