“After the dead are raised up, we’re past the marriage business. As it is with angels now, all our ecstasies and intimacies will be with God.” (Mark 12:24 MSG)
If marriage is, in fact, a limited engagement, how do we steward it well?
Show up. Limited engagements mean limited opportunities to participate. We get a few years into our marriage and it can start to feel like a life sentence instead of a blessing. We find our roles early on, usually without a lot of forethought or consideration, and then we tend to keep those roles for the next two to four decades. This is silly, since seasons roll through our unions with regularity and as our situation flexes, so could we. Eventually, a crisis comes along to interrupt the monotony and how we respond to that crisis is crucial to the health of our union. Strong marriages are made up of two people who keep showing up in all seasons, especially in crisis.
Love big. God’s word is clear: love covers a multitude of sins. And since our marriage is made up of sinners, it’s going to require a lot of love to be sustained over a lifetime. Love is a daily decision and also, DC Talk was right; love is a verb. Love gets up each morning and chooses our spouse all over again. Love offers new mercy each day, because we require it, too. When we realize the limited nature of marriage, we awaken to the reality that we have finite opportunities to forgive, to tend to our spouses needs, to show them affection and revel in intimacy. What has Love big. God’s word is clear: love covers a multitude of sins. And since our marriage is made up of sinners, it’s going to require a tremendous of love to be sustained over a lifetime. Love is a daily decision and also, DC Talk was right; love is a verb. Love puts feet to the floor each morning and chooses our spouse all over again. Love offers new mercy each day, because we require it, too. When we realize the limited nature of marriage, we awaken to the reality that we have finite opportunities to forgive, to tend to our spouses needs, to show them affection and to revel in intimacy. What has maybe felt like an obligation becomes an occasion to enjoy our spouse again. We treasure what we believe to be rare. These days and decades on earth are meant to be shared as man and wife. This is a relationship God has entrusted to us for several reasons: limiting our loneliness, for the purpose of procreation, and the demonstration of His love to the outside world. When we acknowledge the finiteness of our marital relationship, we begin to appreciate it, cultivate it and celebrate it.
Trust God. This might the most essential in growing a good marriage. When you hit rough matrimonial waters, you’ll be tempted to bail. When water is rising, it’s enticing to defend your own interests and call out the worst in your spouse. Instead of unhelpful declarations and personal contributions to sinking the ship, take your concerns to the throne room and consult the Word along the way. God is deeply invested in your marriage. He sees it as far more than an institution, but as a living organism designed to display His love and grace amidst a hurting world. We need to take our marital responsibility seriously and turn to God with every storm and gale. God can see your marriage from an eternal standpoint and He has a plan for your flourishing, not your devastation. Consult Him. Obey Him. Keep showing up. Keep loving big. And keep trusting Him all the way to the last breath.
“Find a good spouse, you find a good life – even more: the favor of God!” (Proverbs 18:22 MSG)
Dear Lord, today we are reminded, marriage is an earthly institution that we can’t take with us. Help us to treasure our unions while we have time. Give us grace and love enough to keep choosing our spouse again each day. Let us love knowing full well that we are not guaranteed tomorrow. Amen.