“But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for I am in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” (Geneses 50:19-20 ESV)
We read Joseph’s story in Genesis and we realize that forgiveness is far more powerful than unforgiveness. And undeserved kindness and generosity affects entire family trees. Joseph’s unwillingness to nurse a grudge impacted his entire nation and protected generations to come. We consider the ripple affect of his amnesty and we wonder, what might our own mercy make way for?
Unforgiveness embitters. It’s been compared to a poison we drink in hope of destroying others. It does, in fact, destroy others, just not the others we had in mind. Unforgiveness infiltrates our family first. It is blight in the branches of our family tree.
Somehow, Joseph understood this. Perhaps because he had grown up with multiple mothers warring for his father’s attention and plotting against one another day after day, year after year. Seriously, there are whole pages of the Old Testament that read like an episode of Sister Wives. Joseph had more than sampled the bitter fruit of unforgiveness (it tasted like mandrakes) and he wanted no part of it. Joseph seemed set on building a big, happy family and he knew firsthand that unforgiveness would infect the foliage. Joseph had lived a large portion of his life apart from his people and as a result of that prolonged solitary season, he was unwilling to let anything come between him and his family; especially something as trivial as ancient history.
One of the things I so appreciate about Joseph was his ability to see the big picture. He was truly visionary. Yes, he had dreams, but he also knew how to put them in motion. He was willing to make day to day sacrifices in order to see the dream’s fulfillment; even sacrifices of justice, reputation or personal rights. It is clear in the last chapter of Joseph’s saga; he’s dreaming about his children and his nieces and nephews living a life of comfort, security and relational harmony. He was willing to set aside any personal differences to see that dream come to fruition. He knew that unforgiveness would jeopardize the kind of future he was toiling to create, so he refused to hold a grudge and, instead, chose to include his brothers, and their respective families, in his dream. He told them as much in the very next verse.
“So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.” (Genesis 50:21 ESV)
Joseph didn’t just forgive and forget. He was exceptionally kind and generous to the very brothers that had been so ugly to him. Generosity and kindness paired with a forgiving heart compose a beautiful soul: the sort of soul that makes others want to stick around and maybe even change. And Joseph’s brothers did just that. The brothers and their offspring stayed in Egypt. This family that had been so dysfunctional and fractured finally learned how to live in peace with one another. Joseph’s unexpected mercy was the catalyst that recreated their relational dynamic.
So much of my family of origin is gone now. Half the people are missing from this picture. Death doesn’t dismiss us from forgiveness, though, it only complicates the endeavor. The burden of relational restoration now rests squarely on us. Thank goodness for God’s mercy, He helps us put the past to rest through prayer and reflection. He repeatedly reminds us how the best is yet to come.
I read about Joseph’s dream of the future and I’m skipping ahead heaven. I’m dreaming of a time and place where we live in comfort, security and relational harmony with the family of God. I’m realizing how much unforgiveness mortgages that dream. A mortgage places an asset at risk of loss, doesn’t it? Unforgiveness risks relationship. It’s blight in branches of the family tree. It interferes with the human connections we value most.
Joseph seemed to view life differently than we tend to. He seemed to look over his days and years with a clear sense of purpose. It’s as though he inherently understood that God was sovereign and He could be trusted to work it all out by the end. Joseph had an idea about forever and he was desperate to include his family in that dream, despite their dysfunction. With his dream in focus, Joseph fought hard to guard family relationships through mercy, generosity and kindness.
So let’s make this personal. Who needs forgiveness in your family? Where can you speak grace and offer generosity instead of condemnation? What might kindness accomplish amidst competition and conflict? Could it be that God wants to chase out the infection in your family tree through your obedience to the gospel? Can we grasp hold of a vision for a far better future and then fight for it as though it depends on us?
Lord, we always learn from Your Word. Today we see Joseph standing alone in his family with a clear picture of what You always had in mind. You gave him the courage, compassion and humility to fight for his dream when fighting looked like forgiving, when fighting looked like letting go of the past with grace. Give us similar vision, Lord. Grant us the will to die to ourselves and love others well: offering forgiveness, kindness and generosity along the way toward forever together. Amen.