“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;” (Proverbs 3:5 NIV)
It’s always a bit humbling when the Lord chases me down with a specific truth. A few weeks ago, I got an email that mentioned Bill Gates and his high tolerance for chaos. He attributed his success in business to his ability to push through chaos to growth. This thought has stuck in my craw; especially during this most recent move. I confessed to my husband during prayer one night earlier this week; “I’m afraid I don’t have much aptitude for chaos.”
I grew up in a chaotic home. Six people, lots of crisis, tons of drama, strained schedules and finances alike. As a teenager, I determined that when I became an adult, when it was up to me, I would turn down the chaos. I’d be responsible, predictable, and realistic about my limitations. Safe. I drive a Volvo for pity’s sake.
Two decades later I’m not sure how successful I have been my endeavors to limit chaos. God has a way of throwing chaos into my story. I can almost count on it.
On Friday, I met someone for lunch and she led with this verse: the one about trusting the Lord and not leaning our own understanding. I went back to my office that afternoon and started praying about Sunday’s call to worship. The Lord led me to this same verse, and our national motto: ‘In God We Trust.’ It seems our forefathers also had a tremendous aptitude for chaos. Yet they put their trust in the Almighty. Do we trust God still?
Tonight I listened to a podcast while painting the breezeway. Levi Lusko was preaching out of Acts 16; a seemingly random text that I had literally read this morning. Apostle Paul was headed to Asia when the Holy Spirit straight up stopped him and changed his route altogether. Paul experienced directional confusion and leaned in for further instruction. He didn’t give up, he didn’t go home, he pushed through the chaos to find what God wanted to accomplish on the other side of his upheaval. Turns out there was a wealthy woman ready to fund a church plant (Lydia), a demon-possessed slave girl in desperate need of an exorcism and a jailer and his family ready to receive the Lord Jesus. On the far side of chaos lay great Kingdom accomplishments. Paul was able to push past his own feelings of panic, confusion and fear to attain a God outcome.
I’m convicted. And convinced that an aptitude for chaos is a requirement for anyone truly willing to lay down their life for the sake of the gospel. God’s ways look far different than mine, His leading typically takes a totally different path. His will often makes no sense right before it makes perfect sense. Like Paul, I need to learn to push through my own panic, confusion and fear to accomplish whatever He’s working out for Kingdom benefit.
“Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:10 NIV)
Lord, please increase our aptitude for chaos. Help us push through our feelings and follow You anywhere. We trust in You. Amen.
Check out this incredible message from Levi Lusko.