“But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray Him, objected, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was a was a year’s worth of wages.” He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.”
(John 12:4-6 NIV)
We read of this interaction between Jesus, Mary and Judas and we have questions. Why was Judas allowed to carry (and pilfer from) the collective money bag? We assume the disciples learned of his embezzlement after the fact, but Jesus knows all things. Judas’ thoughts and actions weren’t hidden from Him. Why did God allow this infraction to go on?
**Strangely, I am thinking of the blind man two chapters prior. He was born without sight “so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” (John 9:3) Perhaps Judas’ sin was allowed to perpetuate for the ultimate glorification of Christ?
Whatever our questions about Judas being allowed to infiltrate and misappropriate, this morning I see something bigger than thievery. I see the problem in Judas’ heart. And I recognize similar issues in my own.
Though Judas had followed Jesus for years, he still maintained a personal agenda. He helped himself. Here it was, the last week with Jesus, and Judas had not yet figured out how to lay down his own will. He was still busy working on a contingency plan. He was looking for a way to plot his own course and look out for Number One.
Ouch.
Judas’ death grip on self-interest would ultimately cost the Kingdom greatly. Yes, God would redeem it, but Judas would be lost forever to his sin.
I am chastened. My will is stubborn. My wants are loud. I like to drive, don’t you?
And Jesus keeps lovingly asking me to lay down my will. My wants. He keeps asking for the steering wheel of my life. And in response, I require His help in praying His prayer.
“Abba Father,” He said, “Everything is possible for You. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what You will.” (Mark 14:36 NIV)
“I seek not to please myself but Him who sent Me.” (John 5:30 NIV)
Lord, forgive us for our self-interest.
Help us lay down our will and pick up Yours.
Have Your way in all things. Amen.