“I will be careful to lead a blameless life – when will you come to me? I will conduct the affairs of my house with a blameless heart.” (Psalm 102:2 NIV)
I’m reading Psalm 101 today and I’m wondering when David wrote it. Was he near the end of his life, when his warrior frame had grown frail and he could hardly keep warm?
It seems like David had changed. In his younger years we saw a heart after God, but after the bit with Bathsheba, David had developed a far stronger stance on sin. The moral code laid out in this psalm is the strictest: justice reigned in his home and kingdom, blamelessness was his highest aim. He openly disapproved of the vile and distanced himself from the faithless and perverse. David silenced slanderers and demoted the haughty and defiant. The wicked were snuffed out and David was finally, fully a good and godly king.
(It turns out a terrible bout with sin can effectively create a saint.)
But then dear David was ready to go Home. “When will You come to me?”
I am privileged to have many older friends. To me, believers in their sixties and seventies are survivors. They’ve settled so many of the issues of life and are, like David, finally fully living for God. Their wisdom is advanced and their understanding great. Their generosity of spirit is contagious and I want to spend time in their company, gleaning from their experiences. But all my senior saints all want to go Home. The reality of heaven has grown so heavy in their chest they can hardly keep breathing and they are set for the trumpet sound.
One such friend respond to my concerned text just yesterday; she and her husband have had a bad case of CoVid. A thousand miles away, she tapped it out on her iPhone with careful intention, knowing full well I’d hear her heart: “I have been struggling with the will to do what’s necessary to get better. Hubby would not let me quit… I just wanted to go Home but hubby would not let me.” Her truth is not abnormal for the older Christian CoVid experience. Several of my senior saints have exclaimed the same foggy, fevered desire to give in to the infection invading their system and simply go Home. I can’t blame them, heaven haunts my thoughts on a daily basis.
This feels like where our King David is coming from; an old man ready to give way to eternity’s tug on his soul. David’s body was falling him but his desire to be with the Lord was beginning to outweigh his desire to be in the flesh. We recall though, David and each of my dear older friends have an appointed time. We all do.
“The Lord will keep you from all harm – He will watch over you coming and going both now and forevermore.” (Psalm 120:7-8 NIV)
We long for heaven but we remember that God alone appoints our coming and our going. Our days are laid out purposefully in His planner. He has a divine schedule that we aren’t typically privy to.
As long as we have breath, we have work to do. Perhaps towards the end, that work is reduced; not subtracted but concentrated. As we age in Christ, we respond to an increased urgency to speak to and pray for the next generation. The younger look to the wisdom of their elders. Immature believers have need of what older believers already possess: steadfastness in their walk and hope in their chest.
Lord, we long for heaven but keep our hands to the plow while we are yet here on earth. The harvest is plenty but the workers are few. As long as our heat beats, let it beat wildly on mission. May we spend ourselves entirely on divine agenda, may we waste no more energy on lesser pursuits. Use us up, Lord, and then take us Home. We are still committed to serving You. Amen.